Every representative of the fair sex is faced with the question of whether she really fell in love or whether this is a slight hobby. In this matter, you should carefully think and weigh everything so as not to do anything stupid in the future.

Listen to your inner voice

  1. If, when you see the object of your adoration, a strange feeling arises, you want to see him constantly and at the same time a certain fear instills in you, it’s worth thinking about. From the first emotions it already becomes clear that you have a strong sympathy for the guy.
  2. At such moments, the realization that love has come usually comes. You want to be closer to a man and get to know him more from all sides. If you work or study together, watch your behavior. You will clearly be attracted to the guy.
  3. If a conversation comes up among your friends about your object of adoration, you will most likely become embarrassed. It is also important to understand that such dialogues give you pleasure; it is pleasant to talk about the person you feel sympathy for.
  4. Pay attention to your inner state. If the mention of his name makes you feel positive and daydream, no doubt you have feelings. As a rule, when talking about such topics, friends quickly guess what’s going on.
  5. Your mood noticeably improves; you remain in a state of euphoria for a long time, especially when you cross paths with this person. It happens that you begin to be jealous of his female surroundings, because of this it is difficult to concentrate.
  6. Often, if the guy you want spends time with a pretty girl, you start to get really angry and worried. If you have experienced just such a burning feeling, there is no doubt that you are in love.
  7. In this case, the guy will be constantly present in your thoughts. This feeling will to some extent torment you and prevent you from concentrating on work or study. However, it is important to understand that nature is difficult to control.
  8. You need to be a very strong person to try to push your feelings into the background and deal with pressing problems. If you really fall in love, pay attention to your appetite; as a rule, you will eat less.
  9. During strong feelings, the body experiences stress, the feeling of hunger fades into the background. This move can help you lose a few extra pounds. In other cases, do not forget about normal nutrition.
  10. When you fall in love, problems with sleep begin. You can no longer sleep soundly like a baby. It's all because of the excited state against the background of the desired guy. Most likely, you will begin to develop a romantic mood, even despite your tough character.

Monitor your own behavior

  1. You choose outfits more often and more carefully, making sure you look perfect. No one disputes that the behavior could have been similar before. However, with the onset of falling in love, self-care turns into a phobia. You constantly think about your appearance.
  2. You began to carry out various cosmetic procedures to care for your face and body more often. We started eating less and taking better care of our figure, nails and hair. Such manipulations are carried out in order to draw a man’s attention to you.
  3. You become fixated on your lover and spend more time learning useful information about him. You begin to be interested in everything connected with him. Roughly speaking, you are creating a dossier for yourself on a man. The more you immerse yourself in information, the more violent your emotions become.
  4. You can unobtrusively meet your chosen one in a club or his favorite bar. This way, you have a better chance of attracting a guy's interest outside of the work environment. You will do everything in your power to “accidentally” see him again.
  5. If everything is done correctly, close communication with your lover cannot be avoided. Remember that you should control yourself, otherwise things may not turn out as you planned. In this case, mistakes may be disastrous and you will not have a future.
  6. When attracting attention, remember that you need to behave with dignity. Revealing outfits and vulgar behavior are unacceptable. Be yourself, try to meet by chance. Conquer the guy with your sincerity and ease. Be real.

Is this love?

How to determine whether love has settled in you or a slight insanity that will soon pass? It is very difficult to understand such seemingly simple things. But let's try to do this together.

So love is:

...the desire to make a person happy. When a girl loves a guy, she tries to make him always look happy and feel at peace. True feelings are not subject to egoism. You do not annoy the young man, do not turn him against his friends, do not interfere with the goal of crushing him or harming him. At the same time, fleeting love is exactly the opposite.

…unity. Even if everyone turns their backs on your boyfriend, you will stand next to him and fight an equal fight. Moreover, it does not matter at all who acts as an opponent. Simply put, true feelings will not succumb to gossip, intrigue, rumors, criticism and even justified accusations. As for temporary insanity, you will constantly replay in your head: “Why do I need all these difficulties?”

…one problem for two. A girl who loves a guy with her soul and heart is ready to share all his difficulties and make the problems her own. This is what distinguishes real feelings from fake ones - willingness to help and provide support. This behavior is not characteristic of temporary love.

…friendship. True love does not arise just like that right away; people come to it after a certain period of time. To develop feelings and recognize each other as soul mates, it is necessary to go through the path of some kind of friendship. Friendly relationships with a hint of flirtation will allow the couple to get to know each other better and develop as a single whole. At the same time, falling in love comes out of nowhere, but can lead to great love in the future.

…one dreams for two. What could be better than plans made taking into account the wishes of both partners? Unless their implementation! Love is dreams created by a guy and a girl. It's about sharing dreams. If we talk about temporary insanity, selfishness operates in such relationships. Each partner wants to take the most delicious piece of the pie, regardless of the dreams of the other.

This is love: what to do next

After you realize that you have finally and irrevocably fallen in love, make yourself a definite plan of action.

  1. Find out as much information as possible about the young man. The main thing in this matter is to find out whether the young man is free or not. In the first case, study his social pages, find out about his hobbies and friends. Perhaps you have mutual friends, ask them casually.
  2. After that, try to attract the attention of the boy you like. Catch his eye, but not too often. Keep your eyes on the guy to show you're interested (don't overdo it).
  3. If possible, start a conversation with him based on the data received or use a plausible excuse (drop him home, help with homework, etc.).
  4. Be sure to take care of your appearance. Hide your flaws, but highlight your strengths. Don't overdo your makeup, keep your clothes, shoes and hair clean.
  5. If you are added to each other's "Friends", put a new avatar. A photo in nature or in another beautiful place is suitable. Create an album of pictures, excluding options with a carpet or old furniture in the background.
  6. Spend more time in public. Surround yourself with suitors, but at the same time you should not look vulgar. Try to make friends with the guy's friends. It is important to get out of the gray mass!
  7. After you start a conversation with a young man, watch your speech. Ask a friend to pull you up if the situation suddenly gets out of control and you blurt out too much.

If the test for your crush is positive, there is no doubt that it’s time to come up with a plan for further manipulation. So let's get started.

  1. Take care of topics for conversation so that there are no awkward pauses in the process of your communication with your boyfriend. Suddenly you won't be able to concentrate when you're around him. And pre-thought-out answers and questions will help with this.
  2. It is important to put yourself in order and create a certain image. If the guy hasn't noticed you yet, visit the hairdresser and manicure salon, go shopping. In cases where you already know each other and like each other, stick to your natural beauty.
  3. Dream! Dreams have a pleasant way of coming true. It’s not at all a shame to plan a joint romantic trip with the object of your affection or in your thoughts to give birth to a couple of children. The main thing is that your dreams must be supported by something (sympathy on his part).
  4. If in this situation you cannot look at things soberly, ask a friend for help. Let her objectively evaluate the existing relationship between you and the young man. Listen to criticism and draw your own conclusions.

If you think that you have fallen in love with a guy, you should weigh everything carefully. Think carefully about whether this is true. If you are overwhelmed by feelings at the sight of the man you adore, try to control yourself. When meeting, communicate lightly, do not force the guy to meet. If he is interested in you, he should ask you out first.

Video: 7 signs that you are in love

No matter how hard we try to immerse ourselves in work or study, a romantic feeling still overtakes us sooner or later.

You may not always be prepared for it and know how to behave. Let's turn to advice from psychologists. What to do if you fall in love with a guy?

Signs of falling in love

How do I know that I'm really in love?

This feeling is quite difficult to recognize, but there is one that will help you with this:

  • cheerfulness. Yes, yes, don't be surprised. And the reason for this is hormones that are released in our body precisely during;
  • increased emotionality. You may become too sentimental, even if you have not suffered from this before. Or experience emotional swings, sudden changes in mood;
  • constant search for hidden meaning. Are you looking for a hint in his every word? Do you see secret signs even in everyday things? Are you re-reading messages from him in search of a second meaning?

    All these are the first signs of falling in love, most often not yet consciously realized.

  • loss of attention. You have become so absent-minded, you constantly get confused, forget something... This also speaks of your love for someone.

What should you do first?

So what to do with the surging feeling? How to behave? Psychologists advise the following:

Thanks to these tips, you will either understand that the object of your affection does not deserve your attention, or you will finally achieve it.

What to do if you fall in love for the first time? Adviсe:

To a boy classmate

You spend a lot of time together, see each other every day.

And at some point you may begin to realize that you have some kind of feeling for him. What to do?

  1. Understand your feelings. Do you really like this boy? Or is it just because you see each other all the time? If during the entire vacation you don’t even remember about him, then most likely this is not real love.
  2. Be friendly. Become more active and sociable in class, attract everyone's attention. Boys like cheerful and positive girls.
  3. Try to get close to him. Try to communicate more, find common hobbies. It will be great if you see him not only at school: go to the movies or at least hang out in the same company.
  4. Don't be upset if it turns out that your feeling is not mutual. It's a good experience anyway. There will be other guys who will definitely pay attention to you.

In high school student

High school students seem so smart, mature and much more interesting than their peers. But often they may not notice those who are younger. What to do, if ?

To a work colleague

Office romance is a fairly common occurrence. After all, we spend a lot of time at work and often some people begin to sympathize with us. Sometimes it really turns into falling in love. What to do in such a situation?

To the boss

Fell in love with the boss. What to do? Psychologist's opinion:

By correspondence

We started communicating just out of interest, but it all grew into something more? You yourself haven’t noticed how? Here are some tips on how to act in such a situation:


The second cousin

If we initially have a strict taboo regarding our siblings, then, as a rule, it does not apply to cousins ​​and second cousins. But you can’t tell your heart! How to be?

  1. Analyze the situation. Why did it happen? What do you think this could lead to? Think about the future. How will the brother himself react to this? Are you ready for outside disapproval?
  2. Take your time to communicate your feelings. You must understand that you are unlikely to be together. Such relationships are not approved by society. Yes, and there is logic in this, especially if you are planning to have children.

    Therefore, it would be best to resolve this issue on your own, without letting anyone in on your feelings for your second cousin.

  3. Don't focus on your feeling. Learn to be distracted: find yourself a passion, a hobby. Try to see him less often.
  4. Don't be shy to ask for help. If you feel that the situation has gone too far and you can no longer cope, then consult a psychologist. He will help you understand the reasons for your love and how to get rid of this feeling.

The anime guy

Falling in love usually comes suddenly and often it may not be the one we imagined in our thoughts.

For example, what should you do if you fall in love with an anime guy?

  1. First you need to grow up. And to a greater extent, this refers to psychological age. A mature personality cannot fall in love with such a character.
  2. Pay attention to the features that attracted you. This will help you find out what kind of people you like. Try to find them in the people who surround you.
  3. Limit your hobbies. If you like watching such cartoons, then there is nothing wrong with that. But if it comes to such love, then this is undoubtedly not a very good sign. Try to find other ways to enjoy your free time.

To a celebrity

Celebrities seem so distant to us and, at the same time, so attractive. And sometimes it happens that simple interest develops into a feeling of falling in love. In this case, there are three possible scenarios for the situation:


Love for an idol. Psychology of a fan:

The actor

First, you simply watched the film and identified one actor in it. Then you decide to review all the pictures with him. You no longer notice that you are constantly monitoring information about him and are jealous when you see a photo in a magazine with some girl. What to do with this love?

  1. Understand that this is just an image. You fell in love with him, not with this person. In life, he may well not live up to your expectations.
  2. Imagine the development of events. It is unlikely that you will meet him, and he will suddenly realize that you are exactly the woman he has been looking for all this time.

    So be realistic. Most likely you will suffer for it and miss your real life!

    What conclusion does this suggest? We need to get rid of this feeling.

  3. Try to find another hobby. Start going to the gym or a hobby club. You can start embroidering or drawing. Do everything to get rid of obsessive thoughts.

How not to become a slave to love?

It would seem that falling in love is a bright feeling.

But it doesn't always turn out to be so pleasant.

This often brings a lot of problems. How not to become addicted to your crush?

  • understand that first of all you must be a developed and self-sufficient person. Don't make your crush the only interest in your life;
  • don't limit yourself. If another man pays attention to you, you can accept his attention. This will benefit both you and the object of your love, because he will understand that you are not fixated only on him. But don't overdo it;
  • treat everything with humor. There is no need to throw a tantrum and fall into depression at the slightest failure. Life doesn't end there;
  • Hint to him about your feelings, and then transfer the initiative into his hands. There is no need to constantly come up with a strategy for your future behavior.

Falling in love can bring you both happiness and Problems. Therefore, be sure to think through the situation to the end before rushing headlong into the pool.

What to do if you fall in love with a celebrity? Find out in this video:

24 651 0 Hello! In this article we will talk about how to understand that you are truly in love. This question is asked by many girls who are experiencing an increased interest in a certain representative of the opposite sex. It’s time to fall in love - a wonderful time when we are happy, cheerful and so light that we are about to take off! But can we always accurately identify this feeling and separate it from other states?

The main signs of falling in love

  • Uplifting mood.
  • Feeling of happiness.
  • Constant thoughts about your beloved, craving for him, desire to spend all your time with him.
  • Increased activity in behavior, the desire to change something.

Love, affection or sympathy?

When you experience interest in a member of the opposite sex, you cannot always immediately determine what is behind it: is it just sympathy or have you already become attached to him? Or maybe you really fell in love? Let's look at the main differences between these conditions.

State Peculiarities What is important to us in this state?
Sympathy It is expressed in the fact that we like someone or something, we feel an “emotional kinship” with him. Gender, age, status, etc. do not matter. There is no sexual context here. Most often, sympathy arises on the basis of common interests and values.Positive emotional contact with the object of sympathy, the desire to be in his company and arouse reciprocal sympathy for oneself.
Attachment The basis of attachment is the habit of being close to someone. Usually appears after a long relationship. Assumes a dependent position on the object of attachment. Relationships usually do not develop, “freeze” in one state, and most often they are reliable and stable.Stability in relationships and maintaining them by any means, since the fear of losing a loved one is strongest in them.
Love A strong emotional attraction to another person, a desire for physical intimacy with him. The one with whom we are in love becomes an “ideal”; we highly extol some aspects of his personality, but we may not notice his weaknesses at all.We strive to evoke a response from our lover, to satisfy personal needs in the relationship, and we want our partner to always remain “ideal.”
Love Deep sympathy for someone or something. In a romantic relationship, it usually develops from falling in love and involves selflessness and acceptance of the other person with all his strengths and weaknesses. Can occur without sexual desire (love for children, for parents, for the Motherland, etc.) Read also: ? Shared happiness, the desire to make another person happy, to inspire him, to take care of him, to respect and understand him, to remain faithful.

How to understand that you are in love - 25 signs

  1. You think about this person all the time, you can sometimes even go “to the astral plane” in thoughts about him and not respond to the questions of others. You have dreams about your lover (you may have the same dream several times).
  2. You mentally imagine your date, how you look, what you talk about.
  3. You want physical intimacy with him: hug, kiss, enter into an intimate relationship.
  4. You dream of spending romantic time with this young man: having a candlelit dinner, going to some restaurant, going on a trip with him, or spending your leisure time in some original way.
  5. You want to be aware of everything that happens to him: you ask friends about him, look at pages on social networks.
  6. You feel that your breathing quickens and your heart begins to beat faster when you see the object of your love or hear his voice in the telephone receiver. You feel trembling in your limbs, you may blush when you meet him.
  7. You look forward to messages from him, and you yourself are ready to inundate him with letters.
  8. You can’t sleep for a long time, you are overwhelmed with emotions, and many different thoughts are spinning in your head about the man of your dreams that you met.
  9. You are very susceptible to his words: you fly into seventh heaven if a guy gives a compliment, and you get very upset if you hear criticism from him about you.
  10. You have become much more attentive to your appearance: you want to look more attractive than before (especially if you are going to meet someone you are in love with), and change something about yourself.
  11. You feel a surge of energy, a desire to act and the emergence of new strength.
  12. You began to smile more often, and for no reason.
  13. You see “signs” everywhere and in everything. For example, it turned out that in the past you attended some event at the same time (and you can even remember what this guy was like then). Or by chance you come across films that you recently discussed with him, books that he likes.
  14. You strive to constantly talk about him, tell your friends and colleagues.
  15. You want to create: give your guy some unusual gift, cook something tasty for him, write a poem, etc.
  16. You have become prone to committing impulsive actions (and sometimes even crazy actions). For example, you send him “brave” SMS or “accidentally” walk near his house.
  17. You don’t notice his shortcomings, for you he is the ideal man.
  18. I am ready to devote myself entirely to my beloved: sacrifice personal time, communication with friends, share his interests, listen to him for hours.
  19. Your interest in your previous interests and hobbies has weakened. You devote all your attention to the guy and what he likes and how he lives.
  20. Your musical tastes may change. You suddenly notice that you have begun to love melodramas and romantic comedies (if you did not previously give preference to them).
  21. You forgive a guy even serious offenses because you are afraid of losing him.
  22. You can call him by the name of other men.
  23. You want to sing, dance and enjoy your own feelings.
  24. You want to marry him. It begins to seem to you that this is exactly your man with whom you want to spend your whole life. Of course, thoughts about a serious relationship are good, but you shouldn’t rush, otherwise you can simply scare the young man. It is important here to feel his readiness for such a relationship. So be patient and enjoy your time together.
  25. You start a conversation with the object of your love on serious topics: family, marriage, eternal love and fidelity. Do you want to make joint plans with him?

What to do if you fall in love?

Of course, the answer suggests itself - to love, enjoy life and relationships. And to be more specific:

  • Spend more time on yourself: both on your appearance and on your inner world. It is important that you like yourself and consider yourself attractive. It's good to watch a movie in your spare time. “I am the most charming and attractive”, it does not lose its relevance. If possible, work with internal problems and complexes. Their presence may not have the best effect on the success of the relationship. If we are overwhelmed or upset about something, we are unable to fully surrender to our feelings.
  • When meeting the object of your love, radiate lightness and a positive mood. Men love it.
  • Smile more often. This always suits women.
  • The main thing at first is interesting communication and friendship. Achieve this goal first. And then the relationship will reach a new level. Be patient and don't rush things.
  • Maintain communication (in meetings, by phone, SMS, on social networks), without letting yourself be forgotten. But under no circumstances be intrusive. After all, men love to conquer a lady.
  • Don't come up with some stunning image for yourself that contradicts your natural behavior in order to win his heart. Be yourself, don't try to pretend.
  • Be interested in his hobbies so that you can communicate about topics that are important to him.
  • When communicating with a guy, call him by name more often and don’t miss the opportunity to give an appropriate compliment.
  • Develop as a whole as a person, don’t focus only on the object of love. The more active your life is, the more interests and things to do in it, the more enthusiasm you will feel and you will look more confident and attractive.

How can a guy understand that a girl is in love?

  1. The girl tries to maintain eye contact with the guy (it may even seem that she is “making eyes”), and the longer the gaze is held, the stronger her interest usually is.
  2. She uses various gestures to attract attention (she can fiddle with an earring or stroke other jewelry, straighten her hair, etc.)
  3. She smiles and laughs at the guy's jokes.
  4. A girl takes care of her appearance and can constantly change something about it.
  5. She calls or texts you first. Pay attention to the text of the messages, it can be very original. And this also indicates a high interest in the young man.
  6. She tries to show concern for the guy and support him if necessary.
  7. The girl does not flirt with other guys, all her attention is focused on one thing.
  8. She is interested in the hobby of the one she loves. He asks questions about this, shares his impressions, and actively maintains a conversation with the guy about his hobbies.
  9. She is sensitive to the guy’s words (criticism and compliments): she may become embarrassed, become very inspired, upset, blush, etc.
  10. The girl makes gifts. And the most significant thing here is not the price of the gift, but the consideration of its value for the young man. The more individual approach a girl takes in this matter, the more in love she is.

The more signs of falling in love you find in yourself and the other person, the stronger the feelings. It is important to respond correctly to these signals, and no matter how much you want to, do not rush headlong into the pool. Your inner voice, confidence and self-esteem are your helpers in this matter.

Do you feel like you can no longer live without one guy whose thoughts haunt you? If you happen to fall in love, you need to figure everything out properly: how deep are the feelings, where to start, is it worth fighting or is it better to let go - we answered all these questions in today’s article. You will also learn how to make a man fall in love with you and understand that the plan worked, what to do if nothing works out and the guy does not reciprocate, how to let him go.

If a girl truly loves, she will accept a person with all his shortcomings. She won’t care what his height, weight, hair color is. When you fall in love, you pay more attention to appearance. Another important point - if you can answer why you love a guy, this is no longer love. This feeling is inexplicable.

You will also want to please the person, make him happy, without demanding anything in return. Trembling knees and dizziness from a guy's touch indicate falling in love, but not deep feelings. So that you certainly do not make a mistake, we have prepared material on the topic: how to understand that you have really fallen in love. There you can .

Where to begin

The first thing you should do is find out how he treats you, whether there is reciprocity. This can be done through third parties (mutual friends). Although, a girl usually already understands what a guy likes. This can be seen in his gaze, gestures, and attention to her. There is a more detailed article on the site about. It deals with postures and behavior.

By the way, what do you know about him? Perhaps he is not as good as you thought. Therefore, it would not be superfluous to find out more information about the object of adoration. Social networks will help with this. You should also get rid of panic and pull yourself together.

Is it worth confessing your feelings?

You can only talk about love if you are absolutely sure that he is not indifferent to you. But the guy needs to confess competently. It shouldn't be an interview style where you sit across from each other, look him in the eye and say, "Misha, I really like you." No, make it more natural. While walking together, suddenly gently say, “It’s so easy for me to be with you (pleasant, fun)” or “I’m very glad that we know each other.” This will be a signal for the guy, and he will begin to reciprocate.

Another great hint for your feelings is embarrassment. If you don’t know how to blush, then at least just lower your eyes during particularly tender moments of communication with him.

Your excitement can also tell a guy a lot. Therefore, if you suddenly knock over your glass out of awkwardness or start talking, this will also work to your advantage.

How can you make a guy fall in love with you?

Guys are different, each has their own character and preferences in women. But there are universal secrets of seduction that hardly anyone can resist:

  1. Feminine clothes. No jeans or oversized sweaters. Only dresses and blouses, maximum trousers. Here are all the details of how to do it. You will learn what the length, color, decor of outfits should be, and what should be thrown in the trash.
  2. Smile. This is the best women's jewelry. However, it should not be tense.
  3. Beautiful speech. No swear words or slang, which do not decorate a girl.
  4. "Random" encounters. Study his route and catch the guy’s eye more often, taking into account the previous 3 points.

Our other article, which offers a step-by-step plan, will help you make a guy fall in love with you. You will learn what it takes, what to say, what not to do. At the end of the work, you need to make sure that everything worked out. Pay attention to . He's special. It says here how long the guy looks into the eyes, the duration of contact, the size of the pupil.

Do you want to know all the secrets of seducing men? We recommend watching free video course Alexey Chernozem "12 laws of seduction for women." You will receive a step-by-step 12-step plan on how to drive any man crazy and keep his affection for many years.

The video course is free. To watch, go to this page, leave your e-mail and you will receive an email with a link to the video.

How to forget a man if he doesn't reciprocate

If you come across an impregnable fortress that cannot be conquered either by a charming smile or a deep neckline, do not be upset: it is not necessarily about you. It’s just that he’s either used to being alone, or is going through a breakup, or is even married. It makes no sense to pursue such a guy, because even if he submits, you will no longer be interested.

What to do? Switch to another object. There are probably other guys around you who wouldn’t mind flirting with a cheerful, pretty girl. And now, more than ever, you need male communication in order to feel feminine and desirable again.

It is important not to stay alone for a long time, walk more in the fresh air, go shopping with the girls, have heart-to-heart conversations with your mother.

Another good way is to get a pet: a parrot, a cat, a hamster, a dog. You will have to look after him, and this will distract you from sad thoughts.

This video gives advice on what to do if you are in love and he doesn't pay attention. Video blogger is against a girl pursuing a guy herself, listen:

We wish you good luck in conquering your object, everything should definitely work out for you!

Hello dear readers of the Samprosvetbyulleten blog!

"What should I do if I fell in love?and became dependent on the man. I think about him all the time, I’m fixated on him and I understand that I can’t live like this any longer. I try to intersect with him more and live first in anticipation of such short meetings, and then in memories of them. It seems to me that he is also not indifferent to me and is about to do something specific, for example, invite me somewhere. But, if for several months now we have simply crossed paths in common places, sometimes we talk a little or just exchange a few phrases,” Victoria writes.

« What to do if you fall in love and can no longer live without him. This is probably a dependence on a man, because without him I feel bad and lonely. We already have a close relationship, and in the pauses between our meetings I feel obsessed, I have insomnia and I freak out about any reason, I don’t really know me. Once he disappeared for a couple of days and I became hysterical. After that, he became colder with me and said that he didn’t need me. I'm afraid I scared him with my addiction. What can I do to fix everything, how to become stronger and more independent?” — writes Marina.

You can find out how amorous you are from the test →.

Fell in love and became dependent on a man

Falling in love can, unnoticed by you, turn into obsession and addiction. It all starts with the usual signs of falling in love:

  • You can not sleep,
  • you lose your appetite
  • you constantly look at the phone, waiting for it to call,
  • you think about him all the time,
  • spend most of your time trying to figure out what went wrong between you, why he didn't call, didn't look in your direction, seemed indifferent, and so on.

In themselves, such signs of falling in love are not dangerous until they begin to destroy you and your life.

If the worries and experiences of falling in love take complete control of your body and thoughts, and you live on the grains of a man’s attention that he bestowed on you, or even just the memories of such attention, then you have already fallen into addiction.

Such an attitude in love actually only harms, as I often tell my clients. Some people answer me that they are simply emotional and very feminine, it is difficult for them to be rational and think soberly when they are in love.

Obsession and dependence have nothing to do with femininity. Even if you are sensitive and vulnerable by nature, this does not mean that you have to lose yourself in order to be with a man.

What to do if you fall in love and lose yourself

In love, it’s just the opposite: we support a man’s desire to constantly strive for us when we reduce his importance in our lives.

I know that it is easier said than done, especially if you are already at the mercy of feelings and no rational beliefs work on you. But there is a wonderful way to start changes, without exhausting and painful work on yourself - this is to move in small steps.

Step 1 - Reduce Significance

Ask yourself questions:

  1. Have you ever changed your daily schedule for the sake of your crush?
  2. Have you tried to coordinate your plans around it?
  3. Have you planned what to say when you're around him?
  4. Did you try to make him fall in love with you, went out of your way, forgetting to just be yourself?
  5. Did you think that his bad mood and coldness were your fault?
  6. Did you think that when he moves away from you you need to be nicer, friendlier and more understanding?

If you've done all this, then the first step you need is to reduce the importance of this man in your life.
Make sure he isn't your only priority.

This means:

  • do not plan your time based on it;
  • stop trying specifically to please him and make him fall in love with you;
  • stop being nice and understanding when he acts disrespectfully towards you.

As soon as you stop pleasing a man by adjusting your life to him, you will immediately notice changes.

Firstly, you will understand whether a man is actually interested in you, whether he has the potential to develop a relationship with you, or whether he was just reflecting your attention.

Secondly, the attitude of men in general and your object of adoration in particular will change. You will become more attractive. Because you naturally hold on without trying to specifically please him. You trust yourself enough to be yourself without caring what he thinks of you, there is no pressure coming from you.

Step 2 - Change Focus

Now you have concentrated all your energy and thoughts on the object of your adoration, and have completely lost sight of your own life and your destiny.

Our thinking is driven by purpose. If you don't have a goal in life, you wander around like a hedgehog in the fog, with no idea where you'll end up.

Determine your purpose in life and shift your focus from your man to that purpose.

Sharpen your perception of your life prospects. When you know your goal, you know where to go and what to do, your self-confidence increases, your days are filled with meaning, you experience positive emotions.

Each person has abilities and needs, the implementation of which gives us happiness and a feeling of fullness of life. Set goals according to your needs according to the following plan:

  1. Imagine what your goal looks like.
  2. State your goal.
  3. Think about what it takes to achieve your goal.
  4. What obstacles may arise on the way to the goal.
  5. Who can support you on the way to your goal.
  6. Think through specific activities to achieve your goal.

Stop wandering around the vicious circle of your experiences of falling in love. Liven up, feel your interests in life. The less you focus your energy on him and more on your life goals, the sooner you will arouse his interest in you.

With the client’s permission, I will give an excerpt from her letter after the consultation.

“After I began to devote more time to myself and my interests, I began to receive more attention from him. He began to look for me himself, waiting for me on all corners to chat about some little things. He tilts his head towards me when we chat, listens carefully, I see that what I say is important to him, especially when it concerns him. I see that he is comfortable with me. I noticed that when other women try to engage him in conversation, he interacts with them more out of politeness and is quicker in a hurry to get rid of them, glancing in my direction with excitement. But now I don’t adjust my time to him, and I don’t wait for him to talk to others in order to pay attention to me. I follow my schedule, constantly keep my goals in mind and am happy to see how now he has started to run after me,”— Oksana writes.

These two steps of de-emphasizing men and focusing on your own goals are actually easy to do if you want them to. Before you change anything in yourself and your life, you must want it yourself. It's up to you to decide whether you allow your crush, obsession, or addiction to rule your life, or whether you will consciously build your love life.