MBDOU combined type No. 12

Topic: Parental love and education.

V.A. Sukhomlinsky said:

"Where there is no wisdom of parenting,

the love of a mother and father for children disfigures them.”

Prepared

Teacher-psychologist Mincheva O.S.

Aleksin 2017

Educators and psychologists identify types of parental love

1.Love of tenderness . This is instinctive, unreasonable, sometimes naive love. What does it lead to? A child brought up in an atmosphere of affection for his personality does not know the concepts of “impossible” and “must”. The child does not know his duty to his parents and does not know how to work. He does not see other people with their desires and needs. Such children firmly develop the conviction that he brings happiness and joy to his parents and people simply by simply living in the world.

2.Despotic love.

From an early age, a child’s idea of ​​the good beginning in a person is distorted, he ceases to believe in man and humanity.

In an atmosphere of petty nagging and constant reproaches, the child becomes embittered.

This happens due to the parents’ inability to use their power.

Respect the child’s opinion and his children’s wishes.

3. Love of ransom.

Parents see their duty only in providing all the material needs of the child.

An atmosphere of spiritual emptiness and squalor reigns in the family.

The greater the child’s deficit in parental love, the greater his desire to receive material substitutes.

The child will be completely unfamiliar with compassion and mercy.

Sociologists found thatfor raising children stays with mom and daddaily only17 minutes.

Think about what you can give your child during this time?

5 mistakes in parenting:

1.Promise not to love again

This is one of the most powerful means in education, but this threat is usually not carried out by parents.

2.Indifference .

Don't show your child that you don't care what he does. “Little one” will immediately begin to check whether your indifference is real, initially committing bad deeds. The child waits to see if criticism will follow. Therefore, you need to establish friendly relations with him, even if his behavior does not suit you.

3.Imposed role

Children are ready to do anything to please their parents.However, their own problems remain unresolved.

4.No time

If you have a child, you need to find time for him.

Otherwise, he will look for a kindred spirit among strangers.

5. Too little affection

Children of any age crave affection.

It helps you feel needed and gives you confidence in your abilities.

Unconditional love does not depend on:

neither from the child's appearance

neither from its advantages and disadvantages

neither from ability

neither from today's behavior

The famous American surgeon Robert Mack said:

“In order to simply exist, a child needs 4 hugs a day, but for normal development - 12.”

Parents' love is:

the ability to satisfy the child’s emotional needs.

Yesterday I stood in the corner...

I was punished...

Why did I suddenly get hit?

So understoodI couldn't...

I'm in my dad's Toyota

Near the glass, closer to the steering wheel,

Scrawled with a screwdriver:

"Dad!!! I love you!!!"...

Scribbled beautifully

a phrase of beautiful words!

Is this fair...

put in a corner behindLOVE?

Marina Bokova
Consultation for parents “Parenting with love”

Consultation for parents"Parenting with love"

What is your child capable of, what does he succeed in and what doesn’t? Maybe he can do some things better than others. Don’t be afraid to talk about what he can do better than you; this will not harm your authority; on the contrary, it will emphasize your democracy in your relationship with your child. The purpose of such conversations is to teach him to analyze and evaluate himself. But unfortunately, parents most often they tend to notice shortcomings, and little attention is paid to what the child already knows, what he has mastered with some effort.

Don't be stingy with praise. This will give the child self-confidence and the fact that loved ones value his ability and desire to learn something.

After all, every person needs praise. Don’t you yourself expect an assessment of your work, your positive deeds, aren’t you offended when your efforts go unnoticed? Praise is an important mechanism of influence on the psyche. It helps self-affirmation, it brings people together, it is the way to the soul of another person. And even if it is a little exaggerated (and we are fully aware of this, it still serves a good purpose. So if we, adults, need praise, then how much does it need it for a child who is just embarking on the difficult path of understanding the world.

And one of the ways of this knowledge is for a child to imitate adults. It is vitally important (and, by the way, very responsible for adults) to be a role model, since only through imitation do children adopt social experience, become human, and learn deep human feelings.

From an early age, we teach the child to walk, talk, eat independently, dress, read, etc. What about love? It’s a difficult task, because you can’t do anything here with words, exhortations, moralizing. Can you really count on a positive result by saying to kid: ""Love me!"" You can forbid him to do something, and he won't do it, you can say: ""Come to me!"" and he will come. But offer to love yourself?

The mechanism of the appearance of love is hidden from a person. Scientists often argue over definitions, and they also argue about what Love. Her poets sing in verse, music is dedicated to her and paintings are painted, she inspires everyone who is lucky enough to experience this amazing feeling. But why, having met one person, are we imbued with this special feeling towards him, but are indifferent to another? The mystery remains a mystery for now, but there is a feeling! And we know for sure: it must be real, i.e. It must be expressed in concrete forms in relation to the object of love. We love our child and take care of him, protect him, caress him. And he? He loves his people too parents. But to express your love often fails, speaking in pedagogical language, he does not know how to express feelings.

A child can be taught these methods. This “school” is made up of little things, every day. “Tell me something funny, otherwise I’m so sad”, “Give dad a magazine”, “Let’s make grandma happy and prepare a surprise for her”, etc., etc. Ways to express love “” scattered throughout our lives, they are in all our relationships with people.

Play this game with your child. Watch a fragment of a movie with the sound turned off. Ask baby: how do these people treat each other, why did you think that way? “Read” emotions in drawings, pictures, and then on the faces of loved ones.

And most importantly, tell your child that you love him. He must live in an atmosphere of happiness and love from people close to him and be sure that he will always be supported, and if they scold him, then for the cause. The more often you tell your baby about your love for him, the more likely he will learn to answer you in kind.

We don't tell our children enough about ourselves. (but you need to know the object of love). About our childhood, about our friends, about our successes and failures, about what made us cry or rejoice, about the first books we read and the plays we watched. In a word, about your human essence, about your relationship to the world. At the same time, you should not try to look so smooth and infallible in the eyes of a child, but you also do not need to create the opposite image, when some unseemly act, poor studies, violations of discipline are presented as a great achievement or heroism. Children love it when parents tell them about themselves, at this time they seem to discover a loved one. Such moments are the practice of love and affection.

It is very interesting to watch the games of children in which they play with adults, people close to them. Like in the mirror you will see yourself and your family, you will hear such familiar intonations. Maybe this will force you to draw useful conclusions for yourself?

It is worth telling children about other, “foreign” adults who can serve as models. Today, some teachers and psychologists, advocating upbringing free independent personality, oppose the ""models"" in education. But is this possible? Can educate a person without reference to some kind of model? Imitation is a kind of way of socialization. Of course, we are not talking about mindless copying, but about the fact that, looking at adults, the child seems to see the prospect of his development. "I'll be an adult too." Gradually, an ideal of the person the child would like to be like takes shape. The goal is for this to be a positive ideal, therefore, in addition to the fact that parents should be an attractive model for a schoolchild, you need to tell children about “good people,” about their lives and deeds and what they left to people.

To grow up a child, raise a person in him, a person is not an easy task, very responsible, but grateful. And let the wonderful words of V.A. serve as a kind of guide for you. Sukhomlinsky:

"Childhood is the most important period of human life, not preparation for a future life, but a real, bright, original, unique life. And on how his childhood passed, who led the child by the hand during his childhood years, what entered his mind and heart from the world around him - this decisively determines what kind of person today’s child will become.”

A person is what he loves and values. Everything in this life begins with love. Love is all! As long as humanity has existed, people have been trying to determine the recipe for happiness. Sometimes a person lives his life waiting for it, and then leaves for another world without experiencing what it is. The wish for happiness is the most common wish in official rituals and family holidays. But how many of us can call ourselves happy? Alas! We have forgotten how to enjoy life, we have forgotten how to love. This is the reason for our misfortunes, failures, failures. What do you miss most in your life? The main deficiency in our life is love! It is missed by men and women, adults and children.

Food for thought: our buildings are taller, but our patience is shorter; we spend more but have less; we buy more things but enjoy them less. Our apartments are becoming larger and our families are becoming smaller; we have more conveniences, but less time. We have increased our property, but decreased our values. We talk too much, love too rarely, hate too often. We have mastered the outer world, but not the inner one; We purify the air, but pollute the soul. Our incomes have increased, but our morality has fallen; We are chasing quantity, but losing quality. Our time is a time of a lot of entertainment, but less joy; large variety of food, but poor nutrition. Our houses look colorful from the outside, but they are filled with broken families. (From the book by E.V. Bacheva “My path to myself”)

You scream, stomp your feet, get irritated for any reason, and this means the harmony of the soul has disappeared, calmness and goodwill have gone. Love has left your life.

Learning to love - is this possible? Maybe. A man, a woman, and a child can learn to express their love. There would be a desire. According to American psychologist Ross Campbell, there are four ways to express love: eyes, physical contact, word and deed.

Eyes are the mirror of the soul. We have had this saying for a long time. It is through the eyes that we recognize a person’s mood, his well-being, interest or lack thereof.

The second way to express love is through physical contact: stroking, hugging, kissing. To be gentle and affectionate is such a simple ability to love. Where else can our children learn tenderness and care? Only in the family.

Words, words... our language is so rich that it would seem that there are no problems with the third way of expressing love. And life says: “Yes!” How often do you confess your love to your loved ones? But they so want to know, to feel that they are loved, that they are proud of them, that they are admired. A child is the same precious vessel that must be filled with love every day, every hour. If you don’t do this, the void will be filled with negative emotions: resentment, anger, fear, mistrust. A living word is more valuable than a dead letter!

Prove your love with deeds. Action is another way to express love. What you give is what you get. The boomerang of unlove, thrown through time, will definitely return to the one who threw it. Making loved ones happy should become the norm of behavior for every person.

It is not the one who loves to shout about his love who knows how to love: for many, the feeling is expressed both in word and deed, for others only in deed, and, perhaps, the stronger the more silent it is (N. Chernyshevsky).

It is impossible not to say a few words about self-love. Self-love is not selfishness at all. Self-love is a strong sense of self-worth. I love myself, and this means that I cannot be rude, offend, or hurt another person. Loving yourself does not mean sitting in front of the TV, but doing physical exercise, reading, thinking, meditating. Self-love guarantees that you will live your life happily: you will do what is meant for you on this Earth. Self-love is the main love on Earth. It is she who creates harmony in your soul, leads you to success, allows you to succeed as an individual, and withstand any misfortune. Children respect only those parents who have self-esteem and know how to love and value themselves.

A person cannot love another without loving himself, since it is impossible to give what you do not have, you can only pretend that you are giving. He who loves himself gets sick little and lives long. In the Orthodox religion, self-love begins through love for GOD. “Love your neighbor as yourself,” says the Bible. But, if we talk about self-love, what does love for another have to do with it? And despite the fact that if there really is love for another, then there is love for oneself.

Those who do not love themselves will replace love with something else, for example, with despondency and all sorts of “passions” - from card games, endless gatherings and drinks to love affairs. Why does a person accept this replacement? Because it muffles and compensates for mental pain. Therefore, we must talk to our loved one and our child about their exclusivity and the amazing value for which they can love themselves. High marks should be given to your loved one in both big and small ways. (V.T. Lobin. “The difficult happiness of perfection”).

If you don’t love yourself, then who will love you? They will regret, yes, but they will love, no.

Value system of a mature personality: I (he + she) – SPACE OF LOVE – CHILDREN – PARENTS – WORK – HOBBIES, FRIENDS. If a couple has a correct value system, then the children will be harmonized in these fields and their destinies will be happy. But often CHILDREN and WORK violate the value system, come to the fore and interfere with a happy life. A mature person is a self-confident person who moves away from violence against himself and others. The meaning of life is to return to yourself, to your essence, to your God. To do this, you need to discover freedom, love, wisdom, joy, happiness in yourself and realize it in life. Human life is the realization of oneself. Children, work, religion should not be the meaning of life. To live with meaning, you need to love life itself, in all its manifestations, accepting everything that it presents. You need to pay more attention to yourself. Uncover joy, success, health, love and manifest these qualities in life. It is this path that will bring the greatest benefit to both you and the children. You cannot give children what you do not have yourself. There is no need to be too distracted by material issues. The main thing is to reveal yourself. (A. Nekrasov.) A person who loves life, appreciates every moment, thanks for the simple joys of life (for food, health, love...)

Harmony with the World and ourselves is the key to our physical and spiritual well-being in life.

Be happy!

Materials used by E.V. Bacheva.

Parent Education Center.

The family has been and remains the main center of a child’s formation and development. It is you, parents:

Introduce your baby into the world of human relationships;

Teach to distinguish good from evil;

Live among peers.

Relationships in the family are a model for the children raised in it.

A preschooler acquires almost all the experience of life in society in the family circle through imitation of elders. At this age, imitation is reinforced by the child’s keen desire to act like mom, dad or other family members. You all want to raise your children well, but desire alone is not enough. This requires knowledge!

Nowadays, you, dear parents, busy with professional activities and concerned about the financial support of your family, do not have enough time:

For systematic monitoring of the child,

For an in-depth study of its development.

I'm very worried deficiency of parental love, which, unfortunately, is observed from the first years of a child’s life.

The symptoms of this disease are as follows:

The child is often sad, capricious, or screams for no reason;

Deliberately does stupid things or simply breaks the rules;

Gets sick often.

Unfortunately, it happens that:

You do not know how and do not recognize the need to show your child your love,

You don’t recognize the importance of such relationships,

You don't want to acquire such skills.

Therefore, I would like to draw your attention to these problems and help you:

Better understand the interests, capabilities, experiences, and actions of your kids;

Set demands on them that are appropriate to their strengths and age.

Understand:

A child needs a loving mother and father 24 hours a day.

Don’t feel bad about your baby taking up all your free time.

For development, a child needs:

Maximum emotional and positive, rich communication with parents!!!

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The spirit of love and warmth that fills a children's room has a positive effect on the baby's health.

But excessive love can have a detrimental effect on a child.

Insidious love is admiration when:

You are delighted with every action of the child,

You don’t think about their essence and possible consequences.

To prevent an egoist from growing up in the family:

Teach your child to notice people around him who also have their own feelings, desires, and needs that should be taken into account;

Be wise with children;

Be consistent when dealing with negative childhood manifestations;

Be able to look at the problem from the baby’s perspective;

Build equal relationships in which there is one truth and a common understanding of good and evil, guided by mutual respect and love;

With such family relationships, it is impossible to use “parental authority,” which very often becomes an insurmountable barrier to establishing relationships with family members.

To ensure mutual respect and love reign in your family, adhere to the following recommendations:

Encourage your child to be independent.

If your child needs help, create conditions so that he himself can find ways to overcome a problematic situation.

Do not give ready-made answers - your help should be limited to hints and leading questions.

Celebrate your child's achievements. Give preference to praise rather than reproach.

Do not complement your approval of your child’s actions or behavior with criticism.

Do not try to set excessive demands on your child.

Don't demand more from your child than from yourself.

Remember that for a child, the positive example of his parents means more than their teaching.

Create a corner for your child where there will be a table, shelves, toys, books, pencils, paints, albums and other items necessary for his independent activities and games.

Tell your child as many positive things as possible about independence, curiosity, as well as about kindergarten and school.

Remember, after 20 min. the child needs a break, a change of activity.

Do not conduct developmental activities with your child late at night.

Remember, for productive activity, a child needs to sleep 10 - 12 hours a day, taking into account daytime rest (1-1.5 years).

In recent years, human activity has caused increasing damage to nature, including pollution and excessive waste of its resources.

Human activity in nature must be reasonable: protective and creative. This attitude towards nature must be cultivated in children from an early age. It is from an early age that a person begins to experience the beauty and diversity of nature.

The foundations of a child’s character and life position are laid in the family. And to explain to children, how to take care of nature, in order to instill in them some natural science skills, the personal example of parents is very important! Their careful, loving, caring attitude towards nature.

The beauty of our native nature reveals the beauty of human labor and gives rise to the desire to make our region even more beautiful. Therefore, it is so important to show children how people protect and multiply natural resources, how much work they put into making forests and lakes, fields and rivers happy for everyone.

There are no and cannot be trifles in raising a child to respect nature. A flower picked just like that, a butterfly caught out of curiosity, a bug trampled on - all this, if treated indifferently by adults, can lead to extremely undesirable consequences.

Children's love for nature begins with understanding its values. Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to show the cognitive and aesthetic value of nature. Thanks to this, over time, a careful, responsible attitude towards the natural environment will develop.

Parents can interest their child in a variety of ways. For example, growing house plants. In addition, in order for the children to water them in a timely manner, their interest in the growth and development of plants, the appearance of new sprouts, flowers, and fruits should be encouraged in every possible way. The most suitable for this are fast-growing plants such as geranium or begonia, indoor crops of tomatoes and cucumbers. Responsibility is an important human quality. And it is this that we will develop, trusting the little one with the life of green pets. You can also try growing oranges or lemons, pineapples or pears. Plant fruit seeds in the ground and see what happens. Well, isn’t it a miracle: to grow a real tropical plant on the windowsill and enjoy its fruits?

Each family has every opportunity to awaken and develop a child’s interest in the life of nature and the need for constant communication with it.

Regular family trips to the forest, fields, river or lake are of great educational importance. The child, under the beneficial influence of his parents, gradually perceives the beauty and charm of natural landscapes and delves into the mysteries of natural life. In direct contact with nature, children develop observation, curiosity, and interest in natural objects.

Reading aloud books about nature and animal life is very important. By involving the child in a discussion of what they read, adults explain unclear points and direct his thoughts and interests to the life of nature.

Children are especially drawn to animals. He passionately desires to have and care for any living creature. Keeping an animal in the house comes with additional stress and difficulties. And yet, it is difficult to overestimate the impact that communication, care and care for a weak living being has on the formation of a child’s personality. A child can emotionally communicate with animals - play and talk. Games with smaller brothers (especially dogs and cats) train children physically. The child becomes more mobile and dexterous, his motor skills and coordination of movements improve. Having an animal in the house makes the family more friendly and united.

The artistic and creative activities of children are also of great importance. Modeling from clay, plasticine, all types of applications, design using cereals, dough and natural materials, drawing using plant elements - all this helps to foster a love of nature in preschoolers. The desire to make things more beautiful has a better effect on the world of feelings, allows one to unleash creative potential, increases the level of speech development in preschoolers, children learn to create, learn to understand and see the beauty and richness of nature.

Environmental education will be more effective only if there is constant, daily communication between adults and children in the family. Don’t waste your time on playing with pets, on botanical experiments, on reading good poems and stories about nature, on walks. And then your children, even in adulthood, will consciously and carefully treat everything living and inanimate on Earth.