Very often you can hear from mothers: “My child does not play. Toys are not interesting to him. He is much more willing to tinker around next to me in the kitchen, and a variety of toys in the nursery lie idle!”

Is this situation normal and what is its reason? Do I need to do something, or will the baby start playing more and better over time?

Nowadays, the situation with children's games and toys is not at all as simple and problem-free as it seems at first glance. Let's talk about the baby's "toy farm" from the point of view of its benefits for personality development.

Reasons for overstocking

As a rule, any modern child, almost regardless of the family’s income level, has many more toys than he needs and is useful to have. There are several reasons for this “overstocking”.

1. The cherished wishes of dad and mom. When a baby appears in the family, both parents (and especially the parent whose gender matches the gender of the newborn child) begin to buy those toys that they dreamed of in childhood and did not have.

The peak of this kind of purchases occurs in the period from one to three years. And this parental desire cannot be condemned in any way - one can only be aware of it and try to control it.

Mothers enthusiastically buy doll sets and cribs, strollers, as well as the dolls themselves in commercial quantities. Dads buy impressively sized railroads, all sorts of cars, gas stations, and even, to the horror of moms, weapons.

2. Gifts- the second reason for turning the nursery into a toy warehouse. For any occasion, grandparents and other guests bring it. It is considered simply bad manners to come into a house where there is a child and not bring him a toy as a gift. As a rule, soft.

It happens that at the turn of the second year of life, a child’s toy possessions increase many times over in a matter of weeks. But he doesn't play.

Parents sometimes even get angry: “He has such toys, each of which, if I had had them as a child, would have simply squealed with happiness, but he has no emotions.”

Unfortunately, this is exactly the case when the number of toys and the quality of the game are inversely proportional. That is, the more toys, the worse the game.

Remember the famous episode from “The Flower of Seven Flowers” ​​- the girl Zhenya says: “I want all the toys in the world to be mine.” And then she herself doesn’t know what to do with them, because playing with such an unimaginable amount of everything doesn’t even occur to her. Unfortunately, many children today find themselves in a very similar situation.

3. The pursuit of "early development." A significant part of a modern child’s toy possessions consists of educational and educational toys. There are a lot of them now, and parents can buy literally everything without looking closely at the age restrictions on the box with a game or toy.

Of course, a child should have educational and developmental toys. The whole question is in quantity, quality and method of application. a child can use it adequately only when there is an interested adult nearby who will kindly show the child exactly what can be done with this toy.

If educational games and toys lie “in heaps” in boxes with other toys, scattered and mixed up, then such educational toys are of almost no use. And your child is unlikely to use it for its intended purpose.

4. Inconceivable diversity. It is still difficult for post-Soviet people to get used to the huge supply of virtually any product item. Not knowing how to choose, we sometimes buy everything.

We often think that more is better. In fact, in matters of education, everything often turns out to be different.

So a large number of toys only makes sense if the play space is .

Creation of play space and its organization

When arranging a nursery, remember that for a child, the things that surround him are... And you’re not hanging shelves and arranging cabinets at all - you’re creating a universe in which your baby will grow and learn everything.

Order and disorder. If your baby has already begun to crawl or walk, toys simply thrown into a box or basket will not work.

Psychologists and teachers believe that the optimal location of toys is at the child’s eye level, on shallow open shelves. That is, a rack tightly screwed to the wall is best suited for toys. (This kind of rack should not be confused with a toy storage system, which must be located in a place inaccessible to children. It is good if the toys in the storage system are distributed by type and are in closed, opaque boxes.)

Remember that until about 3 years old, a child plays much better if his mother keeps the play shelves in order. The fact is that children at this age are not able to create what experts call “good structure” for toys.

Simply put, the baby plays enthusiastically while he can destroy order and break the structures created by his mother. And as soon as everything is destroyed, interest in toys and games, as a rule, disappears.

Where do the toys live? Ideally, there is a play area in the children's room, and all the toys “live” there. For older children, the main object organizing the space of the play area can be a toy house.

It’s good for a child if small animals are kept separate, cars are kept separate, and construction sets are not mixed together. This makes it easier for the baby to learn to play, rather than create chaos around him.

Children love to have toys arranged in a variety of boxes, beautiful boxes and baskets. This makes it easier for kids to understand that each toy has its own house.

What to do with the quantity? One of the simple and affordable ways to make a toy new or almost new for a child is to put it away. The same method allows you to reduce the number of toys.

If you divide all the child’s toy possessions into 3 or 4 approximately equal parts, remove 3/4 and change the toy “exposition” once a week, the child will perceive his own toys almost as new.

Creating a “yes” environment. If you want your child to play well and freely, you should say the word “no” in the nursery as little as possible. This does not mean that the child does not need restrictions. It's just that game time is not the best time to introduce restrictions.

Children's play is an extremely important activity. In the game, the child comprehends the world of human relations and the structure of the world in general. A person deprived of play in childhood is inevitably mentally disabled.

Play is a space for a child’s free creativity, and a sharp “no” from a mother or nanny can tear this play space apart, the delicate fabric of play will be interrupted, and the child will not be able to continue playing with the same inspiration.

The restrictions that exist in the nursery and regarding toys should be simple, understandable, constant and minimal. Decide in advance what exactly your child should not do with toys. And it’s best to put away items that cause a flood of prohibitions or great anxiety in adults. The fact is that if it is repeated often, the child either learns to ignore it, or develops excessive stubbornness through everyday resistance.

The art of choosing toys

Toys, like book illustrations, and the nursery environment largely shape the child’s aesthetic world and tastes. Choose toys of the aesthetic direction that is closest to you, parents. Choose toys that you think are beautiful.

Let's start with quantity. Everything is simple here: there should be as many toys freely available as a child, with the organizing help of an adult, can relatively easily remove.

How to identify the “wrong” toy?

"Wrong" toy made from the wrong (unnatural) material, painted in unnatural colors that do not exist in nature. The “wrong” toy is too similar to the real thing (for example, a small toy iron is just like a large iron). This excessive similarity leaves no room for the development of the child’s imagination: the toy is already too similar to the model, there is no need to imagine anything.

The "wrong" toys often use the button principle. The baby presses a button, and from this simple movement the lights light up, the wheels begin to spin, everything comes into motion. That is, the effort expended absolutely does not correspond to the result obtained. And it does not allow the formation of cause-and-effect relationships, which means that intelligence develops in a completely different way than when playing with. Where “pushed - it rolled” or “hit - flew off”.

The craving for early easy impressions, for the fact that almost everything around is entertainment, is deposited very deeply. It is clear that we live in a push-button civilization - but the more a child in preschool sees things whose operating principles are obvious and accessible to him, the better his logical thinking will be developed.

Children have a great interest in manual labor - both male and female. They look very carefully at what is done with their hands. And if dad nails a nail or drills a wall, then for the baby it’s just a celebration of learning about adult life.

But, unfortunately, while examples of female manual labor can be seen (for example, in the kitchen), in many families all male manual labor is reduced to working on a computer keyboard. And this is natural - this is the stage of development of civilization.

And yet, I would highly recommend that fathers of little boys at least occasionally do with them what has been the male part of housework for centuries. This will be a much more educational activity for them than many educational games.

The right toy multifunctional. That is, it can be used in many different ways in many different games.

A classic example of a multifunctional toy is . You can throw it and roll it, it can become a doll watermelon or a fairy-tale bun. The smaller the child, the more of his toys should be multifunctional.

The right toy is made from environmentally friendly material (natural fabric, wood, metal, leather). Of course, it’s unlikely that you can do without plastic toys completely, but you can strive to keep their percentage as low as possible. In addition, the toy must be made of impact-resistant, non-toxic, durable materials - in the expectation that a small child will gnaw, bite, drop it, and use it in various ways for other purposes.

Many Chinese toys are simply not designed for such active use. They only look like toys, but they break within the first week. The child does not have time to play enough with this toy or become attached to it. A real toy should be of high quality and strong.

About cleaning up toys. Self-Reliance Skills

There is a wonderful Russian proverb: “If you love to ride, love to carry a sleigh.” She says, as you understand, that you need to be responsible for the consequences of your actions.

For a child who is about to turn two years old, such things begin to be accessible if parents consider it necessary and correct to spend time and effort on cleaning up toys together or the child’s participation in cleaning the table.

According to most psychologists, it is beneficial for a child’s development to have minimal household responsibilities. It is by doing chores around the house every day that a person develops the ability to take responsibility for himself, concentrate his attention, and try to finish what he has started. By saving a child from the “trouble” of collecting toys, you will not help him, but in some way will hinder him from understanding the world and himself in this world.

Naturally, for most parents and nannies it is much easier and calmer to remove the toys themselves. But if the habit of participating in cleaning the nursery does not arise early, before the child is three years old, then after that it will be much more difficult to form it, since the child will begin to resist more actively.

Try to find time, energy and imagination so as not to forcefully involve your child in cleaning up toys every night. The plots may be different, but the core is the same: at first the child cannot do such things on his own, without the participation of his mother.

What if there are several children in the family?

As a rule, the first children, the firstborns, become “tenant dwellers” - it is with them that the largest number of toys appear in the family. These children, becoming at first simply the eldest, and then the eldest in the family, long remember the period of their undivided dominion over the kingdom of toys and may be reluctant to let the emerging crown princes - brothers and sisters - into this world.

The basic rule can be formulated as follows: if there are several children in a family, then the bulk of the toys (approximately 80%) should be common, and it is necessary to agree on them: how to divide them, what to change for what, who will clean them up and when. But every child who is already 2 years old should have his own inviolable drawer, chest of drawers or chest with toys and the right not to share these toys. This approach will reduce the number of quarrels over toys and relieve children from a heightened sense of possessiveness.

We will discuss in detail how to arrange a nursery for two, three or several children in our next article.

– the situation is quite rare and unusual, therefore it causes concern and fair questions from parents. There are several reasonable explanations for this situation. Let's start with the fact that a child may simply get bored with toys. The abundance of cars or dolls in this situation does not bring the desired effect, since these are the same type of toys. The baby may get tired of rolling the car or putting the doll to bed. In this case, the appearance of a doll or car can attract the child for a very short period of time. Then he will play with them according to the same principle and will quickly lose interest in the new toy.

In this case, adults should not blame the child for ingratitude, since they themselves suffer from such a disease, although they themselves do not admit it. Remember how often a woman changes her outfits? A phrase like “I’m bored to death with this thing” from a woman’s lips is perceived quite normally, so why scold a child in this case? Better take a closer look at how the child plays with his toys. A situation may arise that the child, due to his undeveloped imagination and little life experience, simply does not know how to play.

We will not consider cases where a child has physical or psychological problems that prevent him from fully using the objects around him (in this case, toys). This is a completely different and special topic of conversation. A normal baby sometimes simply does not know how to play with toys. This is where the help of an adult is very important.

There may be several ways to solve the problem.

First: invite your child to play a scene from his favorite fairy tale or cartoon. It is advisable that for the performance you have the same toys as the heroes. If the child knows the episode well, he will be happy to help you. For a change, you can invite him to come up with his own fairy tale based on this episode. With this you will not only keep your child occupied, but also develop his imagination along with his speech skills.

The second direction: arranging games of different directions into one whole. An example would be a boring car and a sandbox bucket. The toys themselves are no longer interesting, but try asking your child to build a sand city for the car. He will look at you in surprise and ask how to do it. By showing and telling everything, you are guaranteed to return the child's interest in toys and keep the baby occupied for quite a long time.

Third option: role-playing games. Invite your child to play store, school, doctor, etc. Here you will need the same toys that the child plays with every day. Thanks to the new idea, he will forget that these toys are not interesting to him. Remember that role-playing games must be played by two or three people. The presence of an adult is mandatory, as he suggests and explains the rules of conduct for a particular participant.

An additional advantage of role-playing games is that the child, through the example of the game, learns the rules of behavior in a given life situation. In certain games, children learn the basics of housekeeping, helping parents, etc. In addition, the child develops a feeling that he is needed in the family, his help is important and useful for others. Seeing the results of his little work, the child will continue to help his parents, no longer perceiving his help as a game, but treating it with all seriousness and pride.

Remember that in preschool age a child does not play with toys; in most cases he tries to imitate adults. This is clearly visible when children enthusiastically play hospital, fireman, etc. Imitations of real construction tools, which are sold in whole sets, are very popular among boys. The child tries to create something with his own hands, works the way his dad or grandfather works. In addition to acquiring rudimentary knowledge about instruments, such games perfectly develop children's powers of observation - in order to repeat something, it must first be seen and remembered.

The next positive thing about these games is the need to work (or play) with small objects. This fact gives the development of fine motor skills of the fingers. Add perseverance and attentiveness to this and you will get just the perfect set of positive influence on the child.

The fourth option to develop an interest in toys is suitable for children from 4-6 years old. It is during this period that you can invite the child to make a toy himself. To be precise, creativity will be joint, but the child must be made to understand that he will be in charge, and the parents will simply help him. For one thing, you can appreciate the breadth of imagination of your beloved child. First, try to do something simpler. The material of manufacture is not significant, as long as it is not traumatic for the child. Girls can be asked to make a real new outfit for an old doll; boys should be more interested in something technical.

We have a boy we know who made a “hedgehog” at the age of 5. The story is entertaining and instructive. Dad was doing renovations in the hallway, and the baby was hanging around all the time. Since childhood, his father did not forbid him to use a small real hammer and a screwdriver (set at very low speeds). Looking at another cut-off small block, the kid suggested making a hedgehog. Dad gave him 10 small screws, showed him how to screw them in correctly, and then simply followed the process and helped with advice. When all the screws were screwed in, the child himself realized that it would not hurt to use a felt-tip pen to draw a face for the hedgehog and put an apple on the screws. They actually drew the face, and the kid himself cut out the apple from paper, painted it and screwed it to the hedgehog. When mom came home from the store, for a long time she did not want to believe that the child did everything on his own.

It is worth noting that another factor influencing a child’s reluctance to play is the simplicity of the game. In this case, everything is simple - complicate the rules of the game and you won’t need new toys. Or you can offer your child a game that is fundamentally new and difficult for him. Teach him to play chess, checkers, etc. The main principle is not to burden your child with the nuances of the game, give him basic knowledge. It is also very important for the child to feel the taste of success, so give in to it slightly in games. If a child becomes seriously interested in complex games (for example, chess), then it is worth delving further into the rules of the game, thereby complicating the child’s task and giving him new goals.

At the very end, I would like to remind parents of the old wisdom that the number of toys and their price usually do not affect the child’s attachment to it. A child will be much more interested in a toy that he has made himself or has achieved some success with. Toys that are bought at the whim of a baby rarely capture his attention for a long time. Usually they soon turn into a dust collector in the far corner of the room. Don’t spend exorbitant amounts of money on your child, rather spend an extra hour of your attention on him - this is much more expensive for the child.

Very often parents are faced with this problem: the child does not want to play with toys. It would seem an absurd situation. Moreover, all parents note that when the child goes to kindergarten, he begins to play with toys. Some complain that the child does not like to play with blocks. Others say that their child does not want to assemble the pyramid.

Of course, children have certain preferences in games: there are girls who do not like to play with dolls, and boys are sometimes more interested in birds than in playing with cars. But still, most likely, the child does not play because he simply does not know how to do it.

What instead of toys?

My son doesn't play with toys much either. He is more attracted to pots, spoons and other household items. Often he just stays next to me and “helps” me in all matters. He especially likes the washing machine. Well, why is he almost not interested in bright, interesting toys?

This happens because the child copies the behavior of adults. Mom spends all day in the kitchen shuffling pots - and the child does the same. Mine, for example, really likes to “wash the dishes,” sort through the onions in the basket, and can spend quite a long time putting potato peelings into the trash can, one at a time.

But a child should also play with toys! If only because when he goes to kindergarten, he will not have access to pots there)).

Where is the exit?

It seems so natural to us that a child plays: rolls a car, talks to a doll, throws a ball, assembles a house out of Lego. But in fact, the child needs to be taught this. And if your child does not have older brothers, sisters or friends, then you will have to get down on the floor and start... playing!

Now every day I try to devote some time to games. When we start playing with our son, he becomes very animated and tries to do something with his own hands. He enjoys building a tower of blocks, connecting cars into a train, and loves to play ball. Although, when I’m busy in the kitchen, he can build a tower of cups with no less interest.

We have a set for puppet theater. My son not only loves to watch how dolls on one of the adults’ hands walk and talk, but he also knows how to put a doll on his own hand. For some reason, he likes the frog the most. Perhaps because he learned to croak for her.

If he built a tower of blocks or put together a puzzle, then I always admire and try to praise him for doing it himself.

Why play with toys?

Of course, my son, like all children his age, loves to jump, run and ride on a swing. But I think that playing with toys, unless, of course, it’s a singing and dancing machine (and how can you play with that?) is very useful for development. While playing, the child develops imagination, spatial thinking and simply gets to know the world.

I recently bought cardboard magnets in the shape of forest animals for my son. Using them, he studies animals, remembers what sounds they make (the sounds we make for them, of course, ourselves). Recently we were surprised to notice that he attaches them to the refrigerator in groups - the big ones separately from the small ones. And the wolf is actually on the other side of the refrigerator: we are afraid of it.

By the way, it’s okay if a child plays with pots and spoons. Any game is about development and learning about the world. But what will we do when he wants to play with screwdrivers, scissors, and a hot iron? Therefore, let him get used to playing with toys.

Now we already know how to play different games. We love to build towers from cups, roll cars, and learn to assemble puzzles. True, as before, my son cannot sit down with toys for a long time alone. You definitely need to keep him company. But I try to push him towards this so that he learns to organize his own games. Sometimes I “give” him toys and offer him to play with them when I’m busy with something. I think with age he will get used to it and learn.

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