Personal intimate life does not require curious spectators and is not discussed at every turn, even with friends. But there are still cases when it is possible and even necessary to talk about intimate life, for example, with a gynecologist after a favorable birth. After all, many people know that pregnancy and childbirth leave their mark on the relationship between husband and wife. Including intimate life, which is undergoing some changes and requires a careful approach to the renewal of the body.

Intimate life after the birth of a baby - abstinence for at least a month

After childbirth, sexual intercourse is definitely necessary, but the question of how and when to do it must be approached with great responsibility. Everyone knows that childbirth places a certain amount of stress on a woman’s body, requires maximum energy expenditure from her and leads to some physical changes. And a woman, after giving birth, definitely needs time to recover: sexual contact in such cases is possible after a month or even two months. Of course, everything depends on the individual physical and anatomical characteristics of the woman, as well as on how the birth took place, how easy or difficult it was.

In any case, doctors do not recommend sexual contact earlier than after one month. This is the minimum period needed for the renewal of the uterus, as well as for its cleansing. Returning to sexual activity immediately after the birth of the baby is also prohibited because at this time the uterus is most sensitive to infection. And this risk will not disappear until it is fully restored, or rather, returns to its original state.

If the birth was not easy, with cuts and tears, much more time should pass before the birth begins. Some people mistakenly think that if the birth took place with the help, then problems with intimate life and the birth of a child should not arise. And this is a completely wrong opinion, because after such a birth a woman needs much more time to restore her organs until the stitches from the operation completely heal.

It is good if the couple discusses “permission” for the first sexual intercourse after the birth of the baby with the gynecologist. Doctors will examine the female genital organs and assess the degree and speed of their recovery, and therefore advise when to begin resuming sexual contacts. Also, the specialist will recommend the most suitable contraceptives to prevent another pregnancy immediately after the baby is born.

Intimate life after the birth of a baby - what problems there may be

But, even if sexual intimacy is carried out according to the advice of doctors, he still may not live up to the “hopes” placed on him by both his father and mother. The most popular problems that young parents may encounter in the early stages after childbirth are vaginal dryness and its anatomical changes. After all, as the baby passes through the birth canal, the vagina stretches. But, over time, it will return to its previous form, and this process can be accelerated with the help of special ones. The expectant mother can perform them even during pregnancy, which allows her to protect herself from excessive stretching of the uterus and its rapid return to a “normal” state immediately after the birth of the baby.

Dryness of the uterus is a temporary phenomenon that occurs as a result of estrogen deficiency in the period after the birth of the baby. The same factor is decisive in the occurrence of postpartum depression in a woman, which is aggravated by fatigue. In this situation, the spouse is advised to treat his wife with understanding, because she needs not only physical support, but also moral support. Special creams and lubricants will help cope with dryness of the uterus.

Many women may complain of pain and discomfort that occurs during sexual intercourse after childbirth. This situation can happen if the birth was difficult: yes. Pain is felt if the sutures “catch” the nerve endings, then it is recommended to jointly search for the optimal position for sexual intercourse, the husband’s great attention to his wife’s sensations. Nerve endings adapt to this phenomenon over time, but for now, during sexual contact you just need to listen carefully to each other.

Intimate life after the birth of a baby - maximum tenderness and attention

After giving birth, the mother demands maximum attention from the father. Right now she needs male psychological support. Regarding intimate life: even sexual contact is undesirable at first, no one forbids gentle caresses. Now is the right time to get to know each other’s body again, “dig up” old sensitive areas, and give each other tenderness and affection. But you need to be careful with the female mammary glands if the baby is on. In general, the postpartum period is not only difficult, but also “gives” new pleasant worries. This is a great opportunity to relive the first seconds of acquaintance on a physical level, an opportunity to reevaluate the relationship between spouses. The main thing here is patience, mutual understanding and love.

Most women ask their doctor whether it is possible to have sex after childbirth, How soon after giving birth can you return to sexual activity?, and what she is like after the birth of the baby. However, it is worth noting that approximately half of new mothers experience certain problems in intimate relationships. For some this continues during the first months, for others during the first year.

Why this happens and how to make the return to the usual “sexual regime” as comfortable as possible, the doctor will tell you.

When can you sleep with your husband after giving birth? How long can you not have sex after giving birth? Childbirth is a serious physiological process. A certain period must pass for the uterus and vagina to return to their previous size. The placenta insertion site should also heal. As a rule, the entire process of postpartum recovery takes 5-8 weeks. It is for this period that doctors recommend abstaining from sexual activity.

A month after giving birth, you must undergo a routine examination by a gynecologist. If all organs have returned to their pre-pregnancy form, he will allow you to resume sexual relations.

What is the danger of neglecting this recommendation? Why can't you have sex immediately after giving birth? The fact is that after childbirth, a wound remains at the placenta insertion site. For it to heal, it takes time and respect for sexual rest. Otherwise, bleeding may occur and the recovery process may be delayed. In addition, a complication may arise in the form of infection in an unhealed wound and, as a consequence, endometritis.

In what cases is it necessary to consult a doctor? If 1-1.5 months have passed after childbirth, and pain still persists, you need to contact a gynecologist as soon as possible.

Why does a woman sometimes not want or not be able to

It’s not uncommon for the recovery period after the birth of a child to end, but a woman still doesn’t want sex. In such a situation, you should not make hasty conclusions, but you should understand yourself, because there are many reasons for this phenomenon.

Firstly, it could all be to blame natural instinct. Until the baby can exist independently, the mother does not need a second child. This is a factor that, on a subconscious level, dulls the desire for intimacy. It is for this reason that the level of the hormone estrogen in the body of a woman who has given birth is low, and as a result there is a lack of natural lubrication in the vagina.

Besides, if the birth was difficult, in the subconscious, a woman has a desire to take revenge on her partner for this torment.

Among the more specific reasons lack of sexual desire can be distinguished:

• low self-esteem (the figure changes after childbirth, and for some women this fact is very depressing and makes them feel unattractive);
• excessive fatigue (after all, now the woman is not only responsible for household chores, but also caring for the baby);
• postpartum depression.

Also to blame for the dulling of the desire for sex may be fears: unplanned pregnancy; fear that it will be painful to have sex after childbirth; fear that the child will wake up at the most crucial moment.

"Like the first time…"

Very often first sex after childbirth compared to the first time in principle. The fact is that in this case, during sexual intercourse, a woman may experience pain or discomfort. This is caused, first of all, by the fact that during the birth process the nerve endings of the genital organs are damaged. Also, scars and sutures on soft tissues can be injured during sex, which causes pain.

Another factor due to which sexual intercourse can cause discomfort to a new mother is the woman’s resistance on a subconscious level. To make your return to normal sexual activity as comfortable as possible, you can use some recommendations.

• Have a romantic evening: delicious dinner, bath with aroma candles, erotic film. All this will help you relax and awaken desire.
• Start slow. Give yourself enough time for affection. You can start with oral sex or petting (imitation of sexual contact).
• Choose poses, in which you can control the depth of penetration.
• Use lubricant: a special gel or cream that eliminates dryness of the vaginal mucosa.

Contrary to popular belief You can get pregnant during the lactation period, and before the onset of menstruation. How to avoid surprise?

Let's consider several methods of protection from unwanted pregnancy.

1. Hormonal contraceptives. Prohibited during breastfeeding! There are several forms: tablets (drink daily), injections (one injection lasts 8-12 weeks) and a contraceptive capsule (injected under the skin of the shoulder and is effective for 5 years). The reliability of such drugs is estimated at 95-99%, but you should not choose the drug yourself. You need to consult a doctor and get tested if necessary.
2. Intrauterine device. This is also an effective method of protection. It can be placed 1.5 months after birth and in the absence of chronic diseases of the genital organs.
3. Barrier contraception. These are condoms, diaphragm and spermicides. The method is safe for health, but the least convenient of all the others.

During labor the vagina undergoes changes: it stretches and it takes time to restore its previous size. To speed up this process, gynecologists recommend regularly doing Kegel exercises, which train intimate muscles.

These exercises also help increase sexual tone and improve blood supply to the genitals. In addition, they allow you to control your orgasm.

To understand what exactly needs to be done, you need to try to stop the urine while urinating. It is these muscles that you did this with that need to be trained. The essence of such training is maximum tension and relaxation of muscles at a slow and fast pace. You can do this at any convenient time.

Video

In the video material that we offer for viewing, you can also find a lot of useful information and answers to frequently asked questions on the topic of sex life after childbirth.

Share your experience, how long after you decided to resume sexual intercourse, what were the doctor’s recommendations* Were you scared or uncomfortable at first? Your story will help solve the questions of our readers!

Very rarely, a woman who is expecting a child and meeting him may think about how much the intimate side of her relationship with her husband may change after childbirth. But when the time comes to think about it, many women can put off this moment because with the birth of a child they no longer have enough energy and time. But it's not right. After all, after a little person appears in your life, sex can have many more facets and bring much more pleasure. And not only physically, but also mentally.

Of course, you still have to wait a while with sex. After all, immediately after giving birth, doctors insist on abstaining. And this should continue for about 4-6 weeks. During this time, the uterus will recover and heal a little, and the risk of infection will significantly decrease. If some complications arise during childbirth, for example, ruptures, then the period without sex should be increased even more, up to two months.

Also the reason is that the organs that directly took part in the birth of the child must heal at least a little as they become very sensitive to various infections. But still, a woman in the postpartum period really needs the support and affection of her husband. Therefore, this is the best period to show your love and understanding. Also, a man should not forget that when a baby is born, there are much more worries. And accordingly, it takes a lot more effort and time. Of course, this is very difficult for a man to understand, so if a woman wants daddy to feel what caring for a child is like, then he should at least partially take part in it. For example, you can bathe the baby together, change his diapers one by one, and stand up to the baby at least once a night when he cries.

Another reason why women do not want to have sex after childbirth is pain. In most cases, they are caused by the fact that the vagina remains dry for some time after childbirth and in such situations you can safely use lubricants. Pain can also occur due to stitches or scars. But this problem is also resolved quite quickly. Now there are many special ointments that can very quickly not only relieve pain, but also promote rapid healing.

But the most difficult problem to perceive is that associated with the tone of the vagina and almost all women face it. It is very difficult to avoid, but you can correct the situation very simply and relatively quickly by performing Kegel exercises. It would be very good if the practice of these exercises began during pregnancy. This will help not only to give birth less painfully, but also after the birth of the baby, the muscles will quickly return to their previous shape.

When can you have an intimate life after childbirth?

Also, do not rush a woman too much into starting sexual activity. After all, she will definitely feel when her body is ready for such a relationship again.

When having sex for the first time, you should be very careful, because you need to check your body for readiness for sex. And of course, we shouldn’t forget about the kind words and affection that a woman needs most at such a moment. And it’s also worth remembering that sex after childbirth becomes much brighter, because you already have your favorite treasure, which should only strengthen your love even more.

It must be taken into account that the birth of a child independently and by caesarean section has some features in the influence on subsequent sexual life.

When is it possible?

All the hardships of childbirth are behind us, and now that mother and baby are already at home, it is necessary to establish a normal life in which an important place belongs not only to the child, but also to his parents.

If a woman had no problems during childbirth, medical recommendations for starting sexual activity are as follows: in 6-8 weeks After childbirth, you can begin to have a sexual life, provided that she has stopped.

Postpartum bleeding should be taken calmly. If you follow your doctor's recommendations for taking medications to restore your health, it will stop on its own.

If it stopped, and after sexual contact it resumed again, this is a reason to visit a gynecologist.

We talked about a case where a woman gave birth on her own without ruptures and frequent episiotomy procedures (cutting the perineum). If you had to undergo unpleasant suturing procedures, you may have to wait until your sexual activity begins until it heals completely. Visit a doctor who, during the examination, will definitely tell you how things are going.

Very important is attention to one's own feelings. You, like no one else, feel best what is happening inside. Therefore, if there are painful sensations, it is better to explain it to your loved one.

Women often worry and about dryness in the vagina, in which sexual life can turn into torture. The hormone estrogen, or rather its deficiency, is “responsible” for this state of affairs. Don't worry - its level will return to normal.

The way out of this situation is quite simple. There's quite a lot in stores now large selection of intimate lubricant gels, among which it is worth choosing a warming one. They are harmless, and their action will help you relax and enjoy communicating with your loved one.

Also an excellent action that stimulates additional production of natural lubrication is active petting. Ask a man to give you an erotic massage, do not disdain aphrodisiacs in the form of incense.

The position for intimate life after childbirth has some restrictions, which, however, you can set yourself. As some women point out, after giving birth it is difficult for them to perform “acrobatic tricks”, so you can start with the missionary position or the “man from behind” position. This minimizes the load on weakened abdominal and thigh muscles.

But be mindful of your feelings.: The pressure on different vaginal walls is different in different positions, and try to choose one that does not cause pain.

Sex life after caesarean section

A week after natural childbirth, many women are already ready to move mountains, and those who survived a caesarean section are still walking, bent over and holding on to the wall.

Abdominal surgery, which is what it is, makes you think about anything, but not about sex. However, gynecologists also exhibit abstinence period is approximately 6-8 weeks. During this period, the bleeding should completely stop and the stitch should heal.

There are some nuances with the onset of sexual activity after childbirth, as reported by women who have undergone surgery.

In principle, they are familiar with all the same problems - dryness, muscle flaccidity, pain “like the first time”. But because of the incision in the peritoneum and uterine area, it is more difficult for them to find a comfortable position for making love.

In some ways, they were lucky that the vagina did not suffer stretching during childbirth, but even women who gave birth themselves do not confirm the myth that the birth canal expanded to an immense size.

But cesarean does not leave injuries on the walls of the tract, which significantly reduces the period of abstinence. Also useful for training and contracting the vaginal muscles.

Regarding poses: for such women, it is best to recommend those where the man actively moves without putting pressure on the stomach. But the position when the woman is on top will be initially unpleasant due to the need to move the lower back and hips. This can make the seam area very sore.

There is another delicate problem that women face after surgical delivery: orgasm is too painful. If any remain, It's better to wait a little with intimate life so as not to cause bleeding.

Let's talk about contraception methods

Not all couples dream of similar children, and this fear often prevents a woman who has recently given birth from being sexually active. It is worth saying that there is a wide variety of contraceptives suitable even for nursing mothers.

Usually, most common method– barrier. On the one hand, it’s safer to use a condom, but on the other hand, many men and women complain of discomfort after using it. You may also be surprised to find that they appeared precisely after childbirth.

Don’t worry, now there are hormonal drugs that can be used even during the lactation period. Your doctor will definitely tell you which ones are right for you and how to work out a schedule for taking them. Feel free to use them, overcome the fear that it won’t “work.”

It is also possible to install a spiral, but many doctors indicate that this is only possible after five months after birth. You should not wait this long if you want to resume sexual activity after childbirth as soon as possible.

And here You shouldn’t believe the well-known myth that breastfeeding prevents pregnancy, as well as trust the folk methods of interrupted coitus.

As medical practice says, a woman is able to conceive within a month after giving birth. Yes, the hormone prolactin, produced during constant and frequent feeding, prevents pregnancy for some time, but as soon as its level drops even a little (they began to feed less often, supplementary feeding was introduced), its effect stops.

Women who, for various reasons, have introduced artificial nutrition for children feel best when it comes to choosing contraception. They can easily choose hormonal contraceptives that are suitable for any woman.

Psychological aspects

Even if you are physiologically completely ready to resume your intimate life, your fears and self-doubt may still prevent you from enjoying it. In this regard, the help and support of your loved one is very important.

As a rule, women cite their own unattractiveness as the first reason for refusing sex. A sagging belly, shapeless breasts, excess weight - all this does not contribute to the desire to show your husband without clothes.

Don't panic, this will go away, you just have to take care of yourself a little, actively involving his father in caring for the child. Then you will have time to go to fitness, get a mask or pedicure.

Also, many people note that they simply do not want to have sex after childbirth. In this case, we can advise you to try to tune yourself into a romantic mood: make time for a date with your husband, watch romance films, or something more frank. Over time, the desire will return to you.

As you can see, restoration of sexual activity after childbirth requires some effort and time, but it will definitely lead to the fact that you will again enjoy communication with your loved one.

A healthy and regular intimate life of spouses is the key to family happiness and warm relationships between partners. Pregnancy and subsequent childbirth disrupt the schedule of sexual relationships. The spouse suffers the most from this. He ceases to feel needed and loved, as a result of which disagreements may arise in the family. How to make your intimate life improve after childbirth and when you can sleep with your husband again after the birth of a baby.

Necessity or prejudice

Many husbands believe that the lack of acts of love in the first weeks after childbirth is a relic of the past. Men often do not understand the possible consequences of an early resumption of sexual activity and often persuade their wife to have sex ahead of schedule after childbirth.

Today, experts say that early resumption of intimacy between spouses can lead to the development of many complications. The period of sexual rest prescribed by the doctor must be strictly observed. During this time, the young mother’s body recovers after childbirth, postpartum discharge comes out, the uterus, cervix and vagina return to normal. If you do not maintain a period of rest, you can introduce an infection into the uterus, which can lead to inflammatory diseases and even infertility.

How long does the rest period last?

Considering the individuality of each organism, it is impossible to say exactly until one day how long the ban on sexual relations between spouses should last. Sexual activity after childbirth can resume only after the cessation of lochia. If everything is fine with you, the discharge has stopped, and you feel well, you can visit a gynecologist to decide on the issue of resuming intimacy with your spouse.

At the appointment, the gynecologist will interview you, examine you, take the necessary tests and decide whether you can sleep with your husband, or whether you should wait a little longer. Typically the dormant period lasts from 6 to 8 weeks. However, there are exceptions.
So, for example, if a young mother experiences postpartum complications, the rest period can be extended until complete recovery.