Words of condolences regarding a death are one way of showing sympathy for a person who has suffered a loss. They express themselves in short phrases of their words to the relatives of the deceased, sincerely, from the heart, orally or in writing. When offering condolences, you need to be extremely tactful and not say too much. Take into account the degree of relationship, cause of death, and the person’s faith. Believe me, this is not easy for everyone, so there is something to talk about in the article, namely, how to express words of sadness.

What the heart tells you

On an intuitive level, people understand that in such situations support is necessary. A suffering person always seeks participation from those around him. But not everyone can choose the appropriate phrases and expressions; for many it is difficult.

If you have an inner feeling that words are unnecessary in a particular situation or you may get confused when saying them, it is better to come up and hug the person. Most often this is the best way to express condolences. A silent hug shortens the distance and helps him realize that his loss is understood and he is not alone in his grief.

What can you say to the loved ones of the deceased?

At the same time, tactile contact is not always appropriate. Therefore, it is important to have an idea of ​​​​what is said on such days. There is no need to make a long speech. Words of grief should be succinct in content, but short.

In what form is it appropriate to express condolences?

1. A quick form of communication is not suitable (SMS, Viber) when you need to convey the depth of feelings - this is not the best way. The best way to express your support is in person, at a meeting or during a telephone conversation. You must speak from the heart and in your own words.
2. If you have poetic talent, then write a poem. However, on the day of a person’s death, reading it will be inappropriate. This option is suitable for a wake on the ninth day or on the first anniversary of death. The poem does not have to be read. It is better to write it on paper and place it next to the photograph of the deceased.
3. Alternatively, you can submit an obituary to a newspaper. A funeral note can be individual or collective. However, this does not replace personal communication.

Common phrases of mourning

There are well-known mournful phrases, among them:

• "Rest in peace". They say it after burial and at wakes.
• “The pain of loss cannot be expressed in words.”
• “I offer my condolences and sincere sympathy for your grief.”
• “Please accept my condolences on the death of (name of deceased IU).”
• “We will keep in our hearts the good and bright memory of (IU).”
• “I was shocked to the depths of my soul by your grief. I mourn with you."
• "My condolences. It's hard to believe that we won't see (IW) again. I share your pain of loss."

How to Tactfully Offer Help

If it is possible to provide financial assistance, then this should be done in person; it is unlikely that they will ask you for money, although a funeral is always a big expense. If you wish to participate in the period of preparation, conduct or after the funeral ceremony, you need to offer your services. The person will know that there is someone to turn to.

Phrases you can use to express your desire to support a grieving person:

• “Allow me to provide you with financial assistance.”

• “I will be there and provide all possible assistance to you and your family.”
• “You can count on my support these days. I will help in resolving any (or specific) issues.”
• “Don’t be shy, count on my participation.”
• “I really want to help, count on me.”

Offering help must be sincere. In order for a person to feel your participation, he may really need it, then as the words are spoken, take his hand(s) in your palms and squeeze lightly. The mourner will definitely feel the sincere power of your words.

Forms of expressing condolences

The depth of the experience varies depending on who exactly the person has lost. How to cope with the loss of friends or a close relative: mother, father, children. Therefore, words of condolences must be selected in accordance with the loss that has occurred.

The cause of death must be taken into account; it may vary:

• Due to old age.
• Due to a serious illness.
• Early, sudden, premature death.
• Tragic death, accident.

The only unshakable condition that must be observed is to speak words of condolences sincerely and from the heart.

Words of condolences

Regarding the death of grandmother or mother

If a person has lost his mother or grandmother, then you can support him with the words:

• “I share the pain of loss and experience it with you. I will remember (IU) with the warmest words.”
• “This loss is difficult to accept. It’s painful to even think that (IU) is no longer with us, but the bright memory will always remain in our souls.”
• “How early God took your mother. How hard it is for you, what grief. Please accept my sincere condolences."
• “Sincere condolences to you, my dear. What a wonderful person has passed away. It’s like a candle has gone out.”
• “The eternal memory will remain in my soul of your mother (grandmother). She was always kind and welcoming. I mourn with you."

Regarding the death of a father or grandfather

Words of loss regarding the death of a brother, father or grandfather:

• “Please accept my sincere condolences. I feel deeply about caregiving. He was a support for you and your loved ones.”
• “(name of the deceased) was a strong personality. Therefore, we need to be wise and persevere through this grief. We will continue what he did not finish.”
• “We will carry the good memory of him throughout our lives.”
• “I offer you my deepest condolences. I am very saddened by the death of your (IU). He was a wonderful man and we will miss him just like you.”
• “Please accept my condolences in connection with the passing of a loved one. Be strong, I am always with you."

Regarding the loss of my husband

• “Sorry for your loss on the death of your husband. You went through life together, but you had to experience this grief. We will help you get through these difficult days. Be strong."
• “It is impossible to make up for the loss. But the Lord will give you strength to survive the loss. We will always keep the bright memory of (PS).”
• “It’s difficult to find words of consolation. The loss is irreplaceable, but we will be there, remember that.”

Regarding the death of a brother or friend

If a person’s brother or close friend has passed away, you can express your support with phrases such as:

• “An irreparable loss. We can't believe he's gone. Eternal memory (IU)."
• “He left this world, but remained in our hearts. We will remember him as long as we live."

Words of support

Relatives of the deceased

You can express your condolences to the relatives of the deceased in writing by sending a message or telegram:

• "Our condolences. It's hard to talk, and even harder to come to terms with the loss. Bright memory".
• “It is impossible to resurrect (IU) with words, but we will be there. Eternal memory to the golden man."
• “A bright man has left our world. Grief cannot be expressed in words. He (she) lived modestly and quietly, and left as if a candle had burned out. The Kingdom of heaven".

To a close friend or girlfriend

If grief happened to a close friend, then you can express condolences to him with words such as:

• “Your grief has deeply wounded my heart. I don’t know if my words will console you, but you can count on me in everything. Let us pray together for the soul of the deceased.”
• “Please accept my condolences my friend. I deeply respected (IW). It is difficult to find words of consolation, as I understand the severity of the loss. I will be there and together we will survive this grief.”
• “My friend, I am sincerely sorry that he (she) left, but (IW) is looking down on us from heaven. Be strong. Count on my support, I share your grief and troubles with you.”

To support a close friend, first of all, to be close to her. When you first meet, be sure to hug and say words like:

• “My dear, Friend, I will pray for the peace of the soul (IU) with you. Only prayer will help you survive this grief.”
• “Your grief is my grief. I experience it with you and thank fate that I was familiar with (IU and degree of relationship).”
• “It’s very painful now, my dear, be strong. I will support you in everything. You can count on my help at any moment."
• “This news shocked me to the core. I will never forget how she (he) greeted guests, was kind to everyone and tried to help. I sympathize and cry with you.”

Work colleague

If grief happened to a work colleague, then you can support him with words such as:

• “I know about the death of someone close to you. I will pray for the repose of his soul.”
• "Our condolences. We will pray for her (him). May the Lord reward her (him) for all the good deeds done on Earth.”
• “We are shocked by what happened. We sincerely sympathize with you and offer our help.”
• “The loss of someone close to you has shocked us. We share the bitterness of loss, mourn and pray with you. Everlasting memory".
• “The loss of a mother is a difficult grief. It's always difficult to say goodbye to loved ones. We mourn with you."

Regarding the death of a work colleague

If it so happens that a work colleague has died, then at the memorial table or in the cemetery you can say the following phrases:

• “We worked together for several years and met almost every day. He was a good worker, and his young colleagues looked up to him as an example. He (IU) will forever remain in our memory as an example of life wisdom, humanity and honesty. Rest in peace".
• “His (her) dedication to work and friendly attitude towards colleagues will forever remain in our memory. We loved and respected (PS), and now we will remember with kind words and prayer.”
• “He (she) was a great friend and colleague. We will miss (name of deceased). The Kingdom of heaven".
• “It’s hard to believe that he (PS) is no longer alive. Just recently we went out to lunch together, drank coffee and laughed merrily. I will miss you, your advice and jokes. Sleep well".

Short phrases about the loss of loved ones

Sometimes it is enough to limit yourself to a few words, but they must be sincere:

• “This news shocked me. It is difficult to accept and impossible to come to terms with. Be strong."
• “I share with you the pain of loss.”
• “This news came as a heavy blow. Let us pray and remember (IU).”
• “He (she) meant a lot to us. We grieve with you."
• “Grief clouds the mind. Be strong, he wouldn’t want to see your tears.”

Funeral words

Muslims

If a Muslim’s loved one has died, you can support him with the following phrases:

• “May Allah forgive all the sins of the deceased and comfort you.”
• “May Allah forgive the sins of the deceased.”
• "May Allah have mercy on him."

Among the Orthodox

An Orthodox person can be supported with short phrases like:

• “Terrible loss. I pray for the soul of the man of God (IU),”
• “Bright peace to ashes (IU).”
• "Rest in the Kingdom of Heaven."
• "Rest in peace".
• "The Kingdom of Heaven and Eternal Memory."
• "God is merciful."
• "Lord, rest with the Saints."

How to express sympathy to the parents of children who have passed away?

The death of children is a cruel mistake of nature. It is children who must bury their mothers and fathers, but not vice versa. There is no consolation for the parents, grief until the end of their days, only pray for their repose and be, if possible, close to the mourners.

2014 was a difficult year in my life, I almost lost my son, he is in a stroller, but alive. But he is with me, I can hug him, kiss him, press him. But this year, a friend of mine lost two minor children and her husband in a car accident. What words? They simply don't exist. She herself is a psychologist, works at a school where her children ran along the corridors. Where this woman got and gets the strength to live on, only she knows.

“What a misfortune. I mourn with you."

Tatyana Snezhina “We are only guests in this life”

Important points

When offering words of condolences to any person regarding death, you need to pay attention to such nuances as:

• When the situation requires an official tone, for example, the boss’s mother died, then you can express condolences in writing, from the entire team. If it was decided to present them personally, then this should be done by one person. You should not visit the mourner’s office or home in a group.
• You should not read at a funeral or wake a poem that was found on the Internet. If it is truly sincere and corresponds to the situation, then you need to write it on paper and give it to the relative of the deceased.
• Sorrowful condolences to the dearest people are expressed in sincere words, moving away from cliched phrases. There is no universal advice here. You need to listen to your heart. Often touches (hugs, a hand on the shoulder) are stronger than touching words of sympathy.
• When pronouncing mourning words, you need to rely on 4 feelings: sincerity, desire to help, sympathy and attention to the person.
• People in a state of deep grief may respond inadequately to even the most sincere condolences. You should not be offended by them or sort things out. Anger at the whole world, depression, guilt, rejection of what happened - all this is a variant of the norm. Awareness of the situation occurs differently for everyone. It takes time and sympathy from loved ones.

As Cicero said: “The life of the dead continues in the memory of the living.” Therefore, we need to remember about relatives and loved ones who have passed on to the next world. This is what you should teach your children.

Take care of yourself and your loved ones!

The loss of a loved one is a great grief for any person. In such a life situation, he needs sympathy and help from relatives, friends and acquaintances.

Therefore, it is important not to remain indifferent and to support people in connection with the death of relatives, so that they do not feel alone.

This material discusses how to properly express condolences to family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances in the event of the loss of relatives.

The interpretation of the word “condolence” is given in many dictionaries. It is called sincere empathy for a person’s grief, expressed by others.

If we consider the meaning of the word, it does not speak of sharing an illness, but expresses sharing misfortune with another in order to reduce the feeling of pain.

Condolence shows that those nearby do not remain indifferent and experience misfortune together.

How to express it correctly to your family and friends?

It should be borne in mind that the loss of loved ones causes an aggravation of feelings, so such people will always feel words spoken insufficiently sincerely.

When dealing with words of consolation, you need to be tactful and correct so as not to hurt the person even more.

Condolences are expressed in various forms if they have died:

• Grandmother, grandfather, distant relative.
• Mother father.
• Sister brother.
• Daughter son.
• Husband wife.
• Friend, girlfriend.
• Colleague.

When addressing the family and friends of the deceased, do not forget how much he meant to them, how great the loss is.

If words of consolation are spoken orally in a personal manner, adhere to the following rules:

• Remain sensitive by saying short phrases, do not turn your words of sympathy into a long speech.
• It is recommended to prepare in advance, rehearse what is said, and think in advance about how to say it correctly.
• Imagine the deceased - the phrases will take on a personal, not abstract character.
• Remember funny situations associated with the deceased, cheer up the mourners by evoking positive emotions.
• Avoid embarrassment, remain natural, do not be shy in expressing feelings.
• Words can replace just a friendly hug, touch, warmth is confirmed by action.
• Don’t forget to offer support to the family and the bereaved person personally – help with registration, fundraising, etc.

Mistakes in behavior will aggravate the grief. The following is not allowed:

• Calls to calm down indicate a lack of understanding of the loss suffered.m
• Inspire a person to forget about this death, convincing him of the need to look for the positive.
• Speak badly about the deceased.
• Condescending statements about such grief with other people, such a tragedy is experienced individually.
• To assert that many people have it harder.
• Use hackneyed, banal phrases that do not reflect personal opinion.

If you cannot find the right words, it is better to remain silent than to be tactless. Do not force the mourner to answer; in deep grief there are no answerable words.

When expressing sympathy for Muslims, Jews, Orthodox Christians, Catholics, and people of other faiths, take into account the religion and nationality of the mourner so as not to unknowingly offend the person.

Do not try to speak in Kazakh, English, or another language if you have an insufficient level of preparation: you can distort the meaning of a phrase that is not spoken decently enough due to errors in pronunciation.

What words to choose for colleagues and friends?

We are not always close with our colleagues, but in a situation with the death of loved ones we cannot remain indifferent.

Even if you haven’t communicated with the person, you can’t pass by indifferently in a difficult situation, simply nodding in greeting. With such life difficulties, the support of the team is important.

But don't bother with excessive attention. It is enough to say sincere words or just give a friendly hug to a colleague.

If such a misfortune happens to a friend, all possible support is needed - this is how true friendship manifests itself. Offer assistance in material and organizational terms.

Do not step aside, even if they do not make a request - a friend may simply be out of his mind, such an event for anyone is something transcendental, impossible to comprehend.

Don’t leave your friend alone with grief, talk less and do more, this will determine a lot.

Condolences in prose

When addressing the mourners, use phrases in prose, without resorting to newfangled condolences in verse.

This looks unnatural and pompous, indicating your insincerity and desire to beautifully pronounce other people’s phrases without expressing personal sympathy.

If it is not possible to contact you in person, please call the text of condolences can be sent via SMS, telegram, message on social networks.

Here are some examples of phrases:

• I will never forget him, he did a lot for me.
• Hang in there, we will support you. Everything will be OK.
• I remember he said: there is no need to be discouraged in any situation. He will stay with us.
• We will pray for him. You will not be alone, we are nearby.

Do not forget: any phrases written on paper, even the most sincere ones, cannot replace live participation. Take the time to help in a difficult situation.

Condolences are appropriate after the death of a loved one and on the anniversary of a sad event. Do not forget about the dates of death of close acquaintances, friends, relatives; on these days, help will not be superfluous.

Examples of written text

When dealing with words of consolation, one should consider in connection with whose death they are pronounced.

The table shows examples of various phrases of condolences offered in writing regarding the death of relatives and friends:

In such a situation it is difficult to speak, but even if you do not know the mourner, or the deceased is unpleasant to you, you cannot remain indifferent.

Maybe your sympathy will make the pain of loss less.

Life is so fleeting and unpredictable that it can end at the most unexpected moment. Even if a tragedy happened to a distant relative or a stranger, the news of death literally comes as a shock. Expressing condolences to loved ones is the best decision in this situation. This way you show sympathy and offer to share the loss. All words of empathy must come from a pure heart, spoken at the right moment. How to respond to condolences is an equally important question. Let's take a closer look at all the nuances.

Etiquette of mourning

If there is a big loss in your family, then there comes a time not only of grief, but also of worries. You need to immediately inform all your loved ones and friends about the loss. It's not easy, but it needs to be done.

Mourning etiquette involves notifying everyone you know, even if they are far away. Even in the case of personal antipathy towards some acquaintances of the deceased. There are a lot of notification options: messages by email or phone, personal call, meeting. Be sure to include information about the place and time of the funeral in your notice. Don't forget to leave your contact information for more information.

Paradoxical as it may seem, if you are grieving, you will have to do many things at once: run around the funeral service bureau, negotiate transportation and communicate with a large number of people. There is nothing you can do, you need to gather your will into a fist. The best thing you should do at this moment is to accompany your loved one on their last journey with dignity.

Be prepared for people you didn't even know to come. In any case, they will express sympathy for you. How to respond to condolences? How to react correctly?

How to express condolences correctly?

When meeting with people who are in mourning, many of us are lost and do not know what and how to say on such a sad occasion. Expressing condolences in the form of “hang in there” is a little stupid. How can you cope in such a situation?

It is difficult to express condolences when you did not know the deceased at all or when you did not remember him in a very good way during his lifetime. Mourning may be for a colleague who wanted to take your place or for a neighbor who used to love to play music all the time. However, one cannot remain indifferent to the grief of a stranger. Perhaps this difficult situation will make the person treat you differently.

In oral form

Most often, condolences are expressed to loved ones in person, in words or by telephone. The first option is the most preferable. The second option is used only if you need to show empathy to a person who lives in another city.

Verbal condolences are expressed during the memorial meal and in the speech at the funeral.

We will discuss how to respond to condolences in the following sections.

In a written form

When writing words of sympathy in a letter, you need to be concise. Poems would be appropriate for an obituary or for a ribbon on a wreath. At the same time, there will be a share of pathos. There is no need for excessive pathos in words of condolences. Therefore, 2-3 sentences will be enough. The main thing is to be brief and succinct.

You can use the following phrases:

Submission of words of grief is allowed in the following forms:

• An email or a postcard by mail - usually this option is used by those who want to express sympathy about the death of a loved one to people living abroad.
• The inscription on the mourning ribbon is an invariable attribute of the ritual wreath or basket.
• An obituary in a newspaper can be used if you know for sure that this publication is read by the relatives of the deceased.
• SMS - it is better to refuse this option. The exception is those cases if the subscriber is outside the network area for a long time.

Words of mourning must be sincere and not contain high pathos. You express your condolences to loved ones first, rather than talking about your personal feelings. If you find it difficult to find words, then say it succinctly and concisely. Be sure to consider the lifetime relationship between the mourner and the deceased. It will be strange for a son to perceive the phrase: “Good memories are what will help to survive the loss,” if during his lifetime he had a bad relationship with his mother.

But how to respond to condolences correctly? This is worth talking about separately.

How to respond to condolences regarding a death?

Oddly enough, there are no specific rules. It is usually more difficult to choose words for someone who expresses condolences rather than responds to them.

How should one respond to condolences? Of course, you can just say thank you. However, if this word seems inappropriate to you in relation to this situation, then you can simply remain silent. Many people are simply annoyed by constantly “thank you” in response. No one will judge you in return for your silence.

How to respond to words of condolences? You can say: “I am grateful to you for your support”, “You are very attentive”, “I try not to lose heart, thanks to your support I feel a little better.” Or you can just limit yourself to one look, nod or hug. How to respond to condolences correctly is up to you to choose, based on your mood.

Each of us has different characters and temperament types. Many people want to spend this difficult moment alone, close themselves off from everyone and not talk to anyone. If you belong to this category of people, then do not be ashamed of your condition. This is fine.

You should not listen to the lamentations of a distant relative who saw the deceased only a couple of times during his lifetime. Accept her words of condolences and leave. If she is outraged by your behavior, it’s okay. It’s better to explain to her later your condition and reluctance to communicate with anyone at such moments.

What should you not say on the occasion of death?

There are taboo phrases in mourning etiquette. It is not advisable to say them when expressing sympathy for the death of a loved one.

People often say these phrases to cheer up the relatives of the deceased. As a result, the opposite happens.

1. “Someday everything will be fine. Time will heal everything." It would seem that what’s scary about this phrase? However, when a person experiences great grief, he is unable to think about his future. Such phrases are simply annoying. And you may hear rudeness in response.
2. “We had to have surgery.” Sentences with the prefix “if only…” model the situation of the past. No one can change something or bring a person back. Such phrases immediately cause anger.
3. “There’s no need to cry, tears won’t help my grief.” Internal strong loss is immediately visible from the outside. Tears cannot be hidden in such a situation. They say that when a person cries, he feels better. Along with tears, the pain becomes quieter. But you can’t internally restrain your pain; this can cause even greater depression.
4. “Maybe it’s for the better. He’s been suffering in recent months.” Death is not the best way out of even the most serious illness.
5. “He will pay for everything. If he didn't smoke and drive, (name) would be alive." You can’t look for the extreme in this situation.
6. “God knows best who and when to call to Himself. This is because of his sins during life.” If the family of the deceased is not pious, then such a phrase is a strong obstacle to sincere prayers for the soul of the deceased.

That it is customary to respond to condolences in the form of taboo phrases. It's better to remain silent. So, no one will see your emotional outrage and aggression.

If you come to a funeral, what should you do?

The response to receiving news of the death of a loved one is to attend the funeral.

Some rules dictated by mourning etiquette:

1. There is no need to dress flashy and bright. Dark muted colors would be appropriate. Women must wear floor-length skirts, and men must wear suits.
2. Bring napkins or a scarf with you. When your feelings overwhelm you, to be able to wipe away your tears. Perhaps someone present will need them too.
3. Leave large totes and large accessories at home.
4. If you talk to someone, do so quietly, barely in a whisper.
5. Don't follow the coffin. Relatives must lead the way.

Be sure to approach the relatives of the deceased and express words of sympathy:

• “It’s very difficult for me to find the right words of comfort right now, but I sincerely sympathize with your grief.”
• “We are shocked by what happened, please accept our condolences.”

If you are unable to come to the funeral in person, be sure to call your relatives after some time. From the outside it won't seem like a late reaction. If you called, it means you remember and mourn with them.

Famous words of sorrow

Here are examples of phrases to express sympathy for the loss of a loved one:

• “We are shocked by the sad news. Be strong."
• “My heart is out of place from what I heard. May he rest in peace."
• “We can’t believe that such a person left us. This is an irreparable loss for all of us."
• “Loss is always hard to bear. We sympathize and empathize with your grief.”
• “The deceased and I did not always know how to find a common language. Now I want to apologize for the disagreement. After all, I’m not always right either.”
• "How can I help you? I sincerely sympathize with your family.”
• “It’s difficult to talk about such a loss. I hope he finds peace in heaven."
• “It’s difficult for me to find the right words now. Remember that you can always turn to me for help.”

How to respond to condolences about death? Sometimes a knowing look from you or a sincere hug is enough if you don’t want to say words of gratitude in return.

Funeral meal

The funeral meal usually begins immediately after the funeral. At funerals, pancakes and kutya (dishes with wheat, raisins and nuts) are usually served on the table.

Those who wish say funeral words about the deceased. It is not customary to say bad things. In this case, it is better to remain silent. The presentation should consist of the following stages:

• make a speech while standing;
• address those present: “Friends”, “Dear relatives” (usually calling the family by name);
• introduce yourself and state how you know the deceased;
• remember his positive qualities;
• you may want to tell about an interesting incident from the life of the deceased. Sometimes people read their own poems dedicated to the deceased.

The main thing is not to delay. The speech should be short and succinct. Conclude that the deceased did not live his life in vain. Again, offer your condolences to your loved ones and pass the word on to someone else who wishes to do so.

Funeral words among Muslims and Orthodox Christians

Muslims have their own traditions. They do not speak the words we are accustomed to. It is necessary to treat the traditions of another culture with reverence and respect.

How to respond to condolences and what to say to Muslims:

Orthodox Christians usually say this:

• “What a loss! We pray for the repose of his soul."
• “Rest in the Kingdom of Heaven and peace!”
• "Kingdom of heaven!".
• “Lord, rest with the Saints!”

Cicero always said that the life of the dead should continue in the memory of the living. Remember about your family and friends. Honor their memory and pass it on to your children.

When a loved one dies, those around them rush to express their regret to his relatives. But how to properly show your gratitude to them and respond to condolences, because the word “thank you” is not very appropriate now?

Mourning etiquette

If a person dies in your family, it is a time of difficult worries. First of all, you will have to inform everyone about the incident. This is not easy to do, but it is necessary.

According to mourning etiquette, you need to notify all your acquaintances, even if they are far away and even those whom you personally do not like, but may have had a good relationship with the deceased.

For those who live nearby, it is better to inform them when you meet, but it is impossible to get around everyone; there is an option to send messages by email or SMS, but this is not very polite, and suddenly the person does not receive them. Therefore, it is better to call in person and say at least a few words. And also be sure to tell us where and when the funeral will be, leave your contact information so that people can clarify the information.

It turns out that you are in grief and you have to do a lot of things: communicate, run around shops and funeral homes. Nothing can be done, gather your will into a fist. Now this is the best thing you can do for the deceased - to see him off with dignity on his last journey.

People will come to the ceremony, some you don’t even know, they will want to express words of sympathy, think about how to react to them.

How to respond to condolences regarding a death?

There are no special rules on this topic; it is often difficult to find words in such situations. You can remain silent in response or simply nod, rest assured, everyone will understand your condition.

Or use template phrases:

• "Thank you";
• "You are very attentive";
• “I’m trying not to lose heart, thanks to you it’s easier for me.”

Everyone has different characters, some want to spend these minutes alone, while others, on the contrary, are uncomfortable being left alone with their own thoughts. If you belong to the first category of people, don’t be shy.

Of course, you will have to worry about organizing the funeral, welcoming guests, everyone will be interested in knowing the details of what happened, especially when the death was unexpected.

But this does not mean that you should now talk a lot and listen to the lamentations of some aunt from a distant province. Accept her support and go about your business. Even if she is a little surprised by this behavior, it’s okay, explain later.

When you come to a funeral...

The opposite situation - you are paying a condolence visit, how to behave correctly? Remember some simple rules:

1. Do not dress flashily and brightly; dark colors are appropriate now: women in long skirts, men in suits;
2. Bring napkins or a handkerchief so you can wipe away your tears when your feelings become overwhelming. Or maybe someone present will need the supplies;
3. Remove large jewelry and leave large bags at home;
4. Have a conversation, but keep silence;
5. And don’t follow the coffin, let your relatives go ahead.

Do you understand that you need to approach your loved ones and communicate, show your participation, but you don’t know what words to use when expressing condolences? Take simple phrases:

• « It’s difficult for me to find the right words of consolation, but I sincerely sympathize with your grief»;
• « I'm deeply shocked by what happened, hang in there…»;
• « Let me offer you my condolences».

If you are far away at the time of the funeral, it’s okay; it is believed that you can communicate with your family at another time. This will not look like a belated reaction, on the contrary, you came as soon as you could, which means you remember and worry.

How should you respond to condolences about death?

Work colleagues, friends and acquaintances will begin to offer financial assistance or any other kind: transportation, a room for a funeral - whoever can.

It should be accepted - this is normal, you will agree that it is not superfluous. The main thing is not to bow out in gratitude and do not shower yourself with compliments, thank calmly. In this situation, you would have done the same.

And I would also like to warn you - the modern funeral industry works very quickly and with pressure. You will be surprised, but sometimes, before they have time to send the deceased to the morgue, people answer phone calls from funeral agencies who are in a hurry to express sympathy and offer services.

Take your time to take advantage of these offers, come to your senses first. The prices and capabilities of funeral companies are very different. In a couple of hours, when your thoughts have recovered a little, you will be able to more adequately evaluate the price list. Talk to your friends, they may offer advice or be able to help with transportation and other matters.

Funeral meal

After the burial, it is customary to invite people to the wake; everyone comes. Christians traditionally serve pancakes and kutya (a dish with wheat, nuts and raisins).

At a wake, those who want to talk about the deceased, but it is not customary to say bad things; it is better to remain silent. What can you tell those present and how?

• It is better to perform standing;
• Start with the address: “Friends”, “Dear relatives”;
• Introduce yourself, tell us how you know the deceased;
• List his positive qualities. Even if you think that there were not many of them, the negative ones can be presented from the other side: grumpy- was critical of life, silly- trusting, stubborn- principled;
• You can remember interesting incidents from life. Sometimes people read corresponding poems, their own or the author's.

The main thing is not to delay the speech, there are others who want to, and this is not the case. Draw conclusions that the person did not live in vain, offer words of condolences, and give way to the next one.

The death of a loved one is always a difficult event, but you have to take care of business, organize the funeral process - you have to pull yourself together. To make it a little easier for you to think of how to respond to condolences, use the phrase templates that we have offered you.

The main thing is to remember - life goes on, a good memory of a deceased person can become his reward for everything he did.

Video: how to express condolences correctly?

In this video, Islam Abaev will tell you how best to express condolences regarding the death:

Condolence is one of those cultural traditions that is a testament to the humanism and spirituality that dominates a society.

Condolences

The culture of expressing words of condolences regarding death appeared much later than funeral rituals, funeral feasts or wakes. Researchers of memorial art attribute the emergence of the habit of expressing condolences in poetry to the Renaissance. At first, kings, nobles and successful merchants ordered odes of praise addressed to them from poets. After their death, relatives asked the same authors to write poetic condolences on the death of the patron.

Photo of words of condolences

Over time, many artists found it possible to write condolences for free, feeding only on inspiration. The words of condolences written “for the death of the poet” by Lermontov, Belinsky, and Bulgakov are well known. Almost all of them became independent literary works that received fame and recognition.

Modern condolences written for public figures can become the subject of careful analysis by society, so the authors of such written or oral statements bear a huge responsibility.

Condolence poems for death

Condolence poems for a death make a huge impression on people attending a funeral, memorial service or wake. To get effective poems of condolences and grief, a relative or friend of the deceased should contact a poet who specializes in memorial texts. This is due to the fact that words of condolences about death, expressed in poetic form, require special tact and moderation, which neophytes in the matter of versification cannot always withstand.

The same applies to the ability to express condolences in prose. If a person does not bear the surname Merimee, Maupassant or Coelho, then it will be quite difficult for him to write a work that corresponds to the canons of the genre. True, relatives and friends of the deceased have some advantages over a qualified author who writes poetry of condolences about death - they know the biography and positive aspects of the person who left this world much better. In addition, before ordering a text of condolences, the relatives of the deceased will need to provide the author with data about the object of the words of condolences in prose.

Photos of condolences in prose

Condolences on death

For those who still decide to write condolences about death on their own, we have prepared the following recommendations.

• The text of condolences regarding a death is less formal than an obituary. In some cases, it can be an absolutely literary work. The person to whom it is dedicated can only be recognized by the characteristic features drawn in the original condolences on death. Such works are most often composed by creative people - artists, poets, painters, for their fellow artists.
• But, if condolences in connection with the death are expressed by colleagues, subordinates, superiors of a civil servant who died in the line of duty, then the text should be as official as possible, similar to an obituary.
• How to write a condolence message? The official text of the memorial work indicates who expresses sympathy (colleagues, employees of the PRC, military personnel of the 96th regiment), for what reason (in connection with death, death) and to whose address it is directed (children, parents, spouse).
• Regardless of the nature and form of the text, the author must express sincere condolences, choosing the most humane words for this.

Photo of words of condolences on death

Before expressing condolences, a person should say goodbye to the deceased, and only then express his verbal sympathy to relatives and friends. In some cases, mourning texts are published in local and specialized press related to the professional activities of the deceased.