I read a lot of Islamic literature and try to learn as much as possible about how to become a righteous wife and earn the pleasure of the Almighty... Almost three years ago, when I was 17 years old, I was married off. Neither before nor after the matchmaking did my future husband and I communicate in any way. My husband is 15 years older than me. I love him madly. Despite my capricious childish nature, he tolerates all my antics. And my antics... this is that I get offended very quickly and often. Fortunately, I move away very quickly - I can’t be offended for a long time. We have a little daughter, she will soon be two years old. My problem is that I don’t have enough attention and affection from my husband... I often tell him about this, but he says that I was making it all up. He comes home very late and leaves as soon as he has breakfast. But when he is released from work, he either stays with his parents or with his older brother at the computer. I asked him so much to come home early because I prepare food for him, having previously found out what he would prefer. I hint to him about romantic surprise dinners, but no, he’s more interested in surfing the Internet at his older brother’s house. After all, everything was wonderful before... although he came late, he paid me every attention. I really want him to devote at least one day to my daughter and me! I offered him to leave my daughter with my parents for a few hours and either be alone at home, or go for a walk somewhere, since he doesn’t even choose his own clothes with me. When I ask my husband to come home, he says: come to your parents, here you will be next to me. But he doesn’t understand that I want to be alone with him... I don’t know what else I should do... he’s selfish... he just wants to sleep, eat... and have the Internet...

From a religious point of view:

If he is rarely at home and, even when you ask him to come early from work, he replies, “I’m at my brother’s or at my parents’, come here,” then why not do this?

It’s very good that you said about the age difference between you and your husband. Most likely, this is the reason for the reduced attention to you on his part. Perhaps, due to the significant age difference, your interests and hobbies differ. Therefore, try to share his interests with him, that is, do the same things with him that he likes to do. For example, if he likes to spend time at the computer, keep him company in this. Alternatively, you can choose good, interesting Islamic books and invite him to read them together, focusing not on spending time together, but on the importance of studying Islamic sciences.

Invite your relatives and friends to visit you. You can call a relative or friend and invite her to visit you together with her husband, and inform your husband in advance that, for example, you will have guests in the evening.

Give him gifts more often, and they don’t have to be expensive. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “ Give each other gifts and you will fall in love with each other ».

And, of course, do not forget that everything is the will of the Almighty. Ask Him to instill love for you in your husband’s heart. Observe all regulations and, to the extent possible, perform actions approved in Islam. Become a good Muslim, and Allah will generously reward you for your obedience to Him!

From a psychological point of view:

Such situations have to be analyzed quite often, and what is interesting is that what you described is most often observed in those families where there is a significant age difference between husband and wife. I think that in your case a lot is due to this. Of course, the point here is not the age itself, but the fact that you and your spouse may have different ideas about the role of husband and wife. What seems important to you now and requires special attention, to your husband may seem secondary and a passed stage. Probably 15 years ago, romance in a relationship was not the last thing for him, but now completely different values ​​are taking over. Of course, this does not justify him, since it in no way relieves him of responsibility to his wife. However, demanding from him this very attention that you want, in practice, can lead to the opposite result: he will simply avoid you even more. And ask yourself how much you need the begged attention. We need to change our approach to business, and radically.

The first thing to do is to abandon these very requirements. Remember that in such situations the law “The force of action is equal to the force of reaction” often comes into play. The fact is that by reproaching your husband for lack of attention, you put him in a defensive position, forcing him to either look for excuses for his actions or simply avoid discussing this topic. It’s not difficult to understand you, you are driven by feelings, your desires are quite understandable, but don’t do it in such a way that your own actions will cause discord in the relationship. Excuse me for my directness, but in your case it is appropriate to say that you are imposing yourself on your own husband. Of course, a lot can be explained by a lack of life experience, but nevertheless there is always the opportunity to acquire it. Try for a while to give up reproaches and requests to spend time with you. At the same time, remain a good wife, do not demand explanations, show, as before, care for your spouse, but do not demand attention. At the same time, observe his behavior, note those good changes in his attitude towards you that will immediately begin to appear. Don’t think that I am now taking the position of protecting my husband’s interests and urge you to simply endure everything that is happening in silence. No, that's not what we're talking about. Just think: since your reproaches and demands are of no use and, on the contrary, they force your husband to spend less time with you, then maybe it makes sense to abandon them? And experiment with a new form of interaction.

Start showing interest in what interests your spouse. This will further unite you, common interests will appear, and there will be something to talk about. Try to change yourself, and you will see how the general atmosphere in the family will begin to change.

Muhammad-Amin - Haji Magomedrasulov
theologian
Aliaskhab Anatolyevich Murzaev
Psychologist-consultant at the Center for Social Assistance to Family and Children

Does your husband not pay attention to you? What could be the problem? Psychologists identify several of them. A man may not be interested in his wife, the relationship is quite boring and the man wants variety, and also your husband did not marry for love, but simply by an absurd accident. How to regain lost interest or generate it? Read about it below.

Transform yourself

If a husband does not pay attention to his wife, then the problem should first be looked for not in the man. A woman who does not suffer from low self-esteem and is not an ordinary person will never allow the fire of the flame that rages in a relationship at the stage of the emergence of feelings to go out.

If a woman cannot maintain interest, then she needs to start working on herself. Have you encountered this problem? Look in the mirror, who do you see there? A middle-aged woman with a rather unremarkable appearance? Change the situation. It is impossible to love a gray mouse. A man always wants to see a sultry beauty next to him.

Go to the hairdresser, see a cosmetologist and change your wardrobe. External transformation helps a lady change internally. The girl needs to become more confident. Often, when a husband does not pay attention to his wife, he simply does not notice her. It's easy not to see a colorless shadow, but it's impossible to close your eyes when you look at a beauty.

Don't idolize your husband

What is the problem with many women? The fact is that they love their beloved too passionately. They put a man on a pedestal and pray to him as if he were a god. Is this situation familiar? Constant admiration only pleases at first. It's easy to get used to. And after a while, the wife may be surprised that her husband does not pay attention to her person. A woman will wave her arms and cry - she does everything for a man, but he considers her empty space. In such a situation, a girl needs to change her attitude towards her chosen one.

You should not create an idol for yourself. A man, even a beloved one, should not stand above his own interests. If you start a relationship with sacrifice, it will end in tears. You need to understand that from time to time it is worth indulging men’s whims, but this should be done rarely. Then the man will appreciate your sacrifices.

Stop throwing tantrums

A person must be able to control his emotions. People who fail to do this are doomed to loneliness and misunderstanding. Husband doesn't pay attention? Think, is this his fault? If a girl throws scandals and hysterics at a man every day, after a while the stronger sex will begin to ignore his wife. He will stop reacting sharply to scandals, but at the same time he will stop perceiving his wife as a woman.

Learn to keep your feelings in check. Has there been a domestic conflict? Don't start shouting. Calm down and continue the conversation with a sober mind. When a person is overwhelmed by emotions, he cannot reason. He will only become more irritated and think about how to hit his opponent more painfully. Such people need to change their way of thinking. Otherwise, the person will very soon be left alone.

Don't be jealous

Jealousy has destroyed many happy couples. A girl who does not trust her husband will try to control his every move. This tyrannical method of building relationships will end badly. The man will either leave the family completely, or find a mistress and begin to ignore his wife. Before life turns into hell, a lady who suffers from jealousy should seek help from a family psychologist. A specialist will help you overcome the feeling that is eating you up from the inside.

Raising your self-esteem will help you get rid of jealousy. Girls who don’t love themselves are afraid that their other half doesn’t feel sincere love and is only pretending. And when the husband does not come to spend the night, the lady is confirmed in her arguments and believes that she is unworthy of love, since the chosen one prefers to spend the night not with her. And a woman absolutely can’t be bothered by the fact that a man has a mess at work and he’s left to clear it out.

Increasing self-esteem leads to internal transformation. A confident lady will not be jealous of her chosen one or beat herself up. As a result, a man will be glad to see next to him a strong and confident person who is worthy of attention and love.

Crises

You began to notice your husband's cooling. Think about at what stage of the relationship the decline in feelings occurred. Perhaps the crisis in family life is to blame. Depending on the year, such crises occur in the first year of marriage, after 3 years of marriage, after the birth of a child, and after 10-12 years. During this time frame, the family is going through hard times. Partners reconsider their attitude towards each other, think about their place in the world and how they should live further. Cooling off of a partner during this period is quite normal.

What if there is no similarity between years? Crises in family life may occur earlier for some couples. This will be due to illness, sudden death or some kind of disaster. In difficult times, a wife should be close to her chosen one and support him in every possible way. You should not demand the impossible from a man. For example, if a husband’s father has died, the wife should not pester her husband with questions about why he does not pay attention to her. Always put yourself in the person's position and don't do anything stupid.

Arrange romantic surprises

Do you want to become closer with your husband? Then don't kill the romance. It must be present in life on a permanent basis. For example, you can cook a delicious dinner for your loved one, place candles around the room and chill the wine in advance. The husband may be surprised to see a beautifully set table. But since the surprise will be pleasant, the man will hurry home next time to find something similar.

You don’t need to please your loved one every day, so that you don’t get tired of romance. You should come up with different ways to warm up feelings. Invite a man to a cafe, go to a movie or to a social event. Take a walk under the moonlight or go on vacation. Take the initiative and demand the same from your man. With mutual efforts, you will be able to revive your former passion and ignite the fire of love.

Eliminate your shortcomings

There are no ideal people in the world. But everyone should try to eliminate their shortcomings. A person who works on himself delights those around him. Do you want to attract a man's attention? Eliminate those shortcomings that irritate him most in your nature. This may be too fast speech, inability to listen to the interlocutor, haste or, conversely, slowness.

Work on yourself. It is difficult not to notice the obvious. Therefore, your husband, who has been waiting an hour for you for 10 years while you get dressed and put on your makeup, will be pleasantly surprised if you get ready quickly. Such changes in a positive direction will arouse a man’s interest. He will think that if his wife changed her habits and began to get ready quickly, maybe she has changed in some other area. A loving husband will become more attentive and caring and will try to rediscover your strengths. And you must live up to his expectations.

Share your husband's interests

Any representative of the stronger sex is pleased when his interests are valued and respected. But a man is delighted with those ladies who share his interests. Be that special. Is your husband not paying attention to you? Show interest in your husband's hobbies. Then a man will not be able to ignore your person. Learn the basics of the hobby on your own, but don’t bother with advice, just show interest.

Over dinner, you can ask how your husband is going with the project, and thanks to your knowledge, you will be able to ask intelligent questions. Men love calm and reasonable dialogues. They like to have long conversations. Not all women agree to listen to long lectures given by men. If you do not agree to devote time to a man, do not be surprised that he will not pay attention to you either.

How to understand that your husband has fallen out of love? A man who does not pay attention to his wife and does not feel tenderness for her is at the stage of gradual withdrawal. But the situation can still be saved. If you don't like your husband's hobby, find something you both enjoy. Spending time together will help you establish productive communication first, and then bring back your former passion.

How to understand that your husband has fallen out of love? A man who has lost interest in his woman stops showing tender feelings towards her and talks to her less. The lady becomes uninteresting to him. Think about how you can transform yourself. Look at yourself from the outside and find your flaws. But judge objectively and unbiasedly. Are you a boring person who is not interested in anything? Then take care of your education. People are interested in talking with people who can carry on the conversation.

"Why doesn't my husband pay attention to me?" - a stupid girl with whom there is nothing to talk about might say. A lady who wants to hold the attention of her husband must be savvy in various fields of knowledge and have at least a superficial understanding of history, art, music, cinema and psychology.

Hello! Please help. My husband and I have been living together for 7 years. This is not the first marriage for both me and him. We have a son. Now he is 5.5 years old. The child did not speak until he was 4 years old, so I was forced to quit my job and focus on the development of the child. The problem is that my husband pays very little attention to me. The husband is a self-sufficient, educated person with a high status.
When he comes home from work, I tell him how my son and I spent our day. And when I ask questions regarding his work, I get the answer that he wants to take a break from work at home. Moreover, this answer sounds at any time of the year, month, day of the week, day, etc. On weekdays we eat dinner almost silently and go to bed. On weekends, he sleeps for half a day, then has breakfast, and, if it is winter, then goes on a ski trip. He doesn’t take my son and me with him, because... My son is still skiing slowly. My son and I go skiing together. Then lunch (silently). Quiet time with my husband and son, then a weekend evening with my husband on the couch. And at this time I am studying with my son. We have a lot of tasks from the speech therapist and music teacher. My son needs these activities to develop his speech. In this mode, my life lasts for 7 years. I spin like a squirrel in a wheel, taking care of the child and the household. I basically live the life of a single mom. But my patience has come to an end. The last straw was a New Year's corporate evening at my husband's work. When he went to rest and celebrate the new year with colleagues (accepted without spouses) for the whole day (from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.) at a rest home.
Before that, in all the years I had never caused a scandal, never quarreled with him, and tried to treat my husband with understanding. And this time I started a scandal. I also want to relax, dress up, feel the holiday, receive congratulations, etc. Moreover, the scandal happened because my husband simply did not want to listen to me again.
He tells me that he does everything to make our family feel good. Now the same thing has happened again with the holiday of March 8th. I tried to talk to him and explain that I am not jealous of his female colleagues. I just need, no less than my colleagues, his attention and care. Does not hear! He doesn’t even let me finish! He starts to get angry and swear that I’ve already bothered him with all this (this is about the New Year’s scandal). He is trying for us! If I don’t like it, then I can pack my suitcase and leave!
I have such a terrible condition. I do not know what to do. There is emptiness, resentment, pain in my soul. I’m forced to live with him because I have nowhere to go, and I understand that I can’t support our special child on my own (rent an apartment, hire a nanny, a speech therapist, etc.) The worst thoughts come to my mind. I constantly want to cry. We are no longer talking about love for my husband. I can’t talk to my husband, there are no intermediaries, and he won’t listen to them either.

Yana, Moscow, 43 years old

Family psychologist's answer:

Hello, Yana.

You have a very comprehensive request, so I will divide it into blocks that are important for you to pay attention to. Firstly, I would like to clarify the situation, has your husband always behaved this way towards you or did this behavior appear after some event? Has his social status and work changed during your life together? Because if he was different before, then it would be good for you to find a reason and understanding of when he changed, at what moment, what could provoke his indifference and reluctance to make contact. Secondly, you write that after returning home, your husband listens to information from you about the day he spent with the child, but does not want to answer your questions about his work. I can note that there is nothing criminal in his behavior, for the simple reason that he may really get tired at work and want to disconnect from it at home, where he comes to rest and relax. You are persistently trying to return his attention to work. The main thing is that you understand this mechanism; it is more characteristic of men. Stop clarifying and clarifying his affairs; if he has a desire to talk about work, he will raise this topic himself. The fact that your time together passes in silence signals that you have no common interests, there is nothing that can connect you and attract you to each other. I would venture to guess that your husband is not very interested in listening to everyday information from you. I understand that you are forced to care for your child and devote as much time as possible to him. But I also want to emphasize that you should keep a part of your life for yourself. You are completely immersed in the role of mother and housewife. Do you think your husband might be interested in a woman playing these roles? Or did he marry a woman, a wife, first of all? Try to analyze what attracted you to each other in the first place? What attracted you to your husband? What does he mean to you? What have you lost in your relationship that has led you to de facto cohabitation rather than warm family relationships? Also in this same block I would like to draw your attention to the fact that sometimes a man needs silence, he needs to immerse himself and be able not to delve into problems or conversations. Try changing your traditions daily. What if you were silent and didn’t say anything about your affairs and worries for a couple of evenings? Try it, sometimes this exercise works, and a man, on the contrary, begins to pay more attention when a woman suddenly becomes silent and does not make contact. Thirdly, do not reproach your husband with his work. You won't get anything more than irritation in response. For a man, work is a sacred cow. It is thanks to her that he has the opportunity to support his family, ensure your well-being and the opportunity to be close to the child, help him overcome the difficulties of development. You write that you also want to put on an elegant dress and “go out into the world”, renouncing everyday life. But I don’t understand what’s stopping you from doing this. Surely once a month you can find someone who will sit with your child in the evening so that you have the opportunity to have dinner together somewhere or spend the evening as you would like. Perhaps you are waiting for your husband to take initiative in this regard, if so, then try to take the situation into your own hands. Invite him somewhere, get yourself in order, dress the way you want. Spend dinner talking about anything but your child or your husband's work. Refresh your relationship, bring newness and surprise into it. Perhaps, in this situation, your husband will again see in you, first of all, the woman he loves, and he will once again have a desire to look after you, to show attention and initiative. And finally, I want to support you, you are tired of caring for a child, tired of everyday life. But it’s worth thinking about the fact that you have a family, you have a husband who really tries to make sure that you don’t have worries in material terms - and this is really a very important element in life. You are angry at your husband, at his lack of interest in you. Try to redirect your energy from him to yourself. Try to figure out how you can combine child care with your life as a woman, as an individual. Remember your desires, interests, hobbies, watch your husband, he probably has an interest that you can try to share with him. Start changing somehow, find the woman in you, perhaps this is what your family relationships are missing. Good luck!

Sincerely, Ekaterina Kondratieva.

Hello, we have been married for 2 years, we have 1 child together and my child from my first marriage, now we are again waiting for a new addition. My husband works from morning to evening, takes days off very rarely and only when he needs to do something specific. In the morning, our communication comes down to make coffee and he turns on the Internet, a couple of routine phrases and he’s at work. During the day, 1-2 dry calls, which series are you doing well? In the evening, dinner while watching TV, and then either a movie when he can’t talk, or the Internet, when he himself doesn’t talk because... He’s watching something, or a game console, and so on for 3-5 hours. If you ask him questions himself, he answers dryly and briefly, and then every other time, if you don’t touch him, then he won’t notice it at all. Zero attention either to the woman or to the interlocutor. I tried to tell him about this more than once, asked him to turn everything off for at least half an hour in the evening and communicate, but there was no result. Immediately a blank defense, insults addressed to you and words that everything is bad for you, you are capricious, etc. I do not know what to do?

Hello, Anastasia! You alone will not solve the problem, especially since your spouse does not consider it a problem. Voice to him your feelings, experiences, describe what exactly you expect from him (no need to tell him, “I don’t have enough attention” - this will not tell him anything - voice clearly what you expect - so that you can talk - what to discuss? what to share ? so that he hugs you - tell him “hug me, I miss you”, find something to do for yourself - your spouse switches after work, you are constantly in the family, with the children, with the husband - you need to support your own interests). Get outside together on weekends - take a walk, go to nature, have a picnic, go fishing - a joint holiday brings you closer together. Allow yourself to show attention to your spouse - hug yourself, say that you miss you, share your feelings, experiences, ask how he is doing, etc. motivate yourself to communicate, talk, if you are waiting for something specific, tell him about it (he will not read hints and, especially, cannot read your thoughts). Talk about what is missing in your family, what kind of communication, play a board game together, or invite him to babysit, and go out, take a walk, meet friends, go to a cafe - you also need to expand the scope of your interests . What can you both offer to solve this problem? It is important for you to see each other’s views and decide how to cope with the difficulties that arise. If the problem cannot be solved, contact a psychologist either jointly or independently so that you can hear each other and understand your contribution to what is happening, understanding how you can change the situation through your behavior and perception.

Anastasia, if you decide to figure out what’s going on, feel free to contact me - call me - I’ll be glad to help you!

Shenderova Elena Sergeevna, psychologist Moscow

Hello!

Perhaps your husband does not fully understand what exactly you want from him. He does not have such a need for long-term communication, and it may seem to you that everyone has it. But in fact, it happens very often that women need long-term emotional contact, but men only need a couple of words, and for him this is attention.

There is no need to explain long and tediously that he is to blame for something; it is important to specifically and clearly say what you want. For example, “Let’s discuss such and such a topic with you,” and not just “let’s talk.” They’re not just talking about something, they’re talking about something! This means that it’s up to you to choose an interesting topic so that he can support it. Or, if you just need to talk it out, it should be in the form of a request: “Dear, can you listen to me for 5 minutes, just listen?” and if he can’t, then you don’t need to burden him with a feeling of guilt, but you can try to come to an agreement, but what does he want from you?

In relationships, it is important to seek compromise and learn to negotiate. This is not limited to just advice on the Internet, it seems to me. This is a skill that needs to be learned. In work with a psychologist or in training.

www.reflexia.ru/borders

http://refleksia.ru/kak_pogovorit_s_mugem_otkrovenno

Alla Chugueva, systemic family psychotherapist, Moscow or skype.

Anastasia, both partners participate in creating relationships, the percentage is 50 to 50.
Therefore, it is advisable to realize that only 50 percent of how your relationship will develop can depend on you.

It is impossible to change your husband from the outside, without his desire, but you can try to come to an agreement and find a compromise - that is, resolve the conflict situation through mutual concessions, and to improve mutual understanding, try to talk with him about your feelings and desires in the “I - messages” format .
Read about how this is done here:
http://psiholog-dnepr.com.ua/for-the-family/school-partnership/message

If you have already tried this option (and for this you may need the help of a family psychologist), you are left with the following choice:
- let it be as it is;
- change the circumstances in which the problem arose;
- change your attitude towards circumstances, i.e. - accept them as:
- necessary given;
- as a lesson that needs to be taken and learned;
- as a catalyst for intrapersonal resources and opportunities;
- as something positive, which is contained in what is still perceived as negative;
- or change something about yourself.
In particular, defend your rights, which will help you achieve what you want.
Read about it here:
http://psiholog-dnepr.com.ua/be-your-own-therapist/diary-confidence

And treat yourself with love and care.
And for this, it is advisable to listen to yourself - to your feelings, thoughts, desires and realize - what you want for yourself - for your body, appearance, health, for your activities, career, finances, for your contacts - with yourself and others, for relationships with the opposite sex, for communicating with your family, friends and relatives, for your plans, goals, meanings, faith, etc.

And achieve what you want.

Good luck and all the best to you.

Sincerely, Svetlana Kiselevskaya, psychologist, master's degree.

Quite recently, the woman felt on the threshold of a new happy life, but now it seems to her that there are only ruins around. And all because her husband does not pay attention to her. And this is the person to whom she herself entrusted her own destiny. Why situations happen when a husband does not pay attention to his wife, and how to get out of them, we will understand in this article.

Why did my husband stop paying attention?

Below we will look at possible options and in each case we will discuss how to correct the situation and attract the attention of your husband.

So, situation one - the husband is completely focused on something else

This woman can do ten things at once and still keep her baby in sight. Men are created differently. And if a promising opportunity comes his way, he will concentrate all his time and volitional resources on it. But at this time the wife does not have enough attention from her husband, and she sounds the alarm.

What should I do? Show that you can be a reliable partner. Don't look for ways to attract your husband's attention. Create ideal conditions for the implementation of his plans. And then the husband’s attention will definitely return, increased tenfold by gratitude for understanding and patience.

Situation two: the husband stopped paying attention in the intimate sphere

There could be two reasons:

• he has problems with men's health;
• the wife has gone too far from her former image.

The first can happen to anyone, it’s stupid to blame a man. As for appearance, sometimes a woman lets her unseemly habits go unreasonably far into freedom. For example, gluttony or untidiness. In these cases, everyone understands why the husband does not pay attention.

What should I do? In both cases, only your patience and efforts will answer the question of how to get your husband’s attention. It can be difficult for men to decide to turn to specialists - help him with this, be there. And vice versa - do not hesitate to ask your husband for help in working on yourself. Redistributing family responsibilities and budgets can free up time and resources to change your wife's lifestyle. At this stage, it is important to maintain friendly, trusting relationships - they can still become the basis for new marital passions.

Situation three: the wife is no longer interested in her husband as a person

Sometimes a couple moves too far away from each other. For example, the husband continued his active social life, and the wife devoted herself exclusively to children and everyday life. At some point, the husband sees in front of him a woman who is indifferent to him, whose interests and way of life are far from him. And the wife complains that her husband pays little attention. The fact that she tried to be a “proper” wife and mistress for him does not change anything.

What should I do? To some extent, fairy tales about Cinderellas, who expected all the best from the prince, are to blame. But it’s never too late to think about your own realization. Your own affairs, plans, even the smallest successes - this is the answer to how to attract your husband’s attention. No magic, just psychology: this woman, shining in the fullness of life, is magnificent, you want to enjoy her company every minute!

Situation four: the husband has a mistress

Sometimes this is precisely what is indicated by the fact that the husband has stopped paying attention. Even a completely loving husband can create such a critical situation for the family. A moment of weakness, the influence of alcohol, a misunderstanding can lead to the appearance of another woman in his life. This is not to mention a mature intention. This explanation of why a husband does not pay attention to his wife is the most unpleasant.

What should I do? Don’t fight the fever and decide on a further strategy: get your husband back, leave him, or focus on your own life? Even in this situation, there are ways to regain your husband’s attention. For example, you can use the time for yourself while he is focused on a new relationship. Restore your “I” from the broken “We”. Sports, psychotherapy, recreation, realizing your own talents, etc. will help you improve your weaknesses. The result will be the acquisition of a new taste for life. One day, the husband's epiphany is guaranteed. Perhaps his attention will increase, but it is not a fact that it will still be necessary.