How to stop being upset about your child's grades.

Think about what went wrong

Hello, my name is Lena, I am 15 years old. I have a problem - I worry too much about grades. I have always studied and now I study with straight A's, my classmates respect me and are confident that I always know everything. Lately, getting any other grade, even a four, is like a disaster for me - I get very upset, cry and think for a long time that I could have gotten a 5, but got a different grade. At the beginning of February, I was sick for a long time and, naturally, when I came to school, it was a little difficult for me to get back on track, since a lot of material was missed, because of this I received several Bs. And even though I’ve now caught up with the program, I practically don’t raise my hand in class, even if I know the correct answer to a question, because it still seems to me that it’s wrong, I’ll embarrass myself, and everyone will laugh at me. I get very nervous during tests and tests or when I answer at the board, because of this I start to stammer and get even more nervous, because... I’m starting to feel like I’m making mistakes with my answers and answering uncertainly. Tell me, what should I do to not worry so much?

I'm too worried

Elena, it is advisable to deal with the fears that are hidden behind this - http://psiholog-dnepr.com.ua/terapiya-strakha

When fears cease to occupy the first place in your life, confidence and faith in your strength will appear - http://psiholog-dnepr.com.ua/be-your-own-therapist/diary-confidence 5 Sincerely, Svetlana Kiselevskaya, master’s degree, psychologist - face-to-face, Skype, telephone 0

Good answer

Bad answer

Elena! Your difficulties are understandable; it would be nice to work through your negative state. I invite you to my website, let me send you one of my articles. Good luck*

Fear of Public Speaking Posted in Articles | February 2, 2014

So, the first problem was called “I’m afraid of being ridiculed.” And the main memory came from the client’s age of 11, when she, as a schoolgirl, along with other children had to perform at a school event and dance. But the dance was poorly prepared, and there was an embarrassment.

This situation has not let the girl go until now. Now we have pulled out the clamp that has lived in it all these years.

Next, I, as an experienced psychologist, modeled her state during a public speech, and it turned out that there was a reaction throughout the body. She said the following: “I’m clenching, my stomach is twisting, and there’s grumbling.” I asked her what she wanted instead, and she answered: “openness, and an interest in public speaking.”

Having received this, we reconnected to the body, and the client felt the following problem: something pinched in her chest, she pulled out a virtual paper clip. When I asked: who owns this? She answered - *to mom*, everything was clear here, we didn’t even bother to analyze this situation, since it was a piece of some kind of parental order, and it went away easily, because instead the client filled herself up, saying the following: “more love towards yourself and admiration for yourself."

And the last condition that I had to analyze, like a good psychologist, was the following: dry mouth: “I can’t speak, I have a lisp. I remember a situation when I had to speak in front of a jury, there were 12 of them, and I was so excited that everyone noticed it and offered me a glass of water to calm me down.”

Here everything was already easy and simple, we removed this state, making positive changes, filling the girl with faith in success.

And with further testing - rehearsing her new behavior, it became clear that the problem had completely exhausted itself.

Afanasyeva Liliya Veniaminovna, psychologist Moscow

When fears cease to occupy the first place in your life, confidence and faith in your strength will appear - http://psiholog-dnepr.com.ua/be-your-own-therapist/diary-confidence 4 Sincerely, Svetlana Kiselevskaya, master’s degree, psychologist - face-to-face, Skype, telephone 0

No matter how difficult, painful, offensive, unpleasant, scary it may be, in any situation you should stop for a minute, calm down, and look at the problem from the outside. Perhaps what was unbalancing a minute ago will now be solvable.

It is impossible to constantly worry about pressing problems - this drives a person into depression and despair. It’s one thing to be nervous about trifles, and quite another to worry about life, health, housing, and loved ones.

It is strictly forbidden to get irritated and angry for any reason, because disruptions and aggression will not help in solving the problem. It is better to solve the issue with a cool mind and a steady hand.

Not everyone can boast of a balanced character, so a selection of psychological techniques and several auto-training techniques will come to the rescue, which will help you become calm and quickly find a way out of the current situation.

A person with extensive life experience knows how to stop being nervous in stressful situations.

There are different ways to let go:

intimate talk;
communication with pets;
sleep and rest;
meditation;
bath with oils or contrast shower;
delicious favorite food, coffee and chocolate;
changing your usual environment: a walk in the park, a run through the forest, a trip to an exhibition;
doing what you love: embroidery, drawing, handicrafts.

A change of environment, doing something pleasant will help relieve nervous tension.

To strengthen your nervous system, add yoga, meditation, reading fiction, listening to classical music, and developing your individuality into your life. It is easier for a self-confident, spiritually and morally developed person to overcome stress. Such a person will not push himself in an ordinary life situation, for which only experience and wisdom are enough to solve.

Stress can arise in different situations:

before the performance. The anxiety is understandable, because you need to convey information, interest the listener, and be prepared for questions or changes in the topic of the speech. To solve the issue, you need exactly this - to prepare well, study the topic, have a well-groomed appearance, so that at first glance you give the audience the impression of a confident person;
driving a car. A beginner needs to calm down and understand that experience comes with age, and every trip behind the wheel brings new knowledge that is important for conquering new roads in life;
in online games. Understand that without play, life will not stop. The real world is not about winning or losing. This will help you cope with a bad gaming day;
before the date. In fact, worries about this are groundless and childishly naive. Since you were invited on a date, it means that they like you for who you are now, therefore, you shouldn’t worry too much that someone won’t like you;
before childbirth. It is difficult to remove anxiety when the baby’s due date approaches, but it is here that the expectant mother must show her fortitude and help her baby be born;
because of her husband or beloved man. A woman should not tolerate insults and humiliation. Instead of tears, stress and breakdowns, it is better to try to change your life, your attitude towards yourself, your habits, tastes;
because of a girl or a guy. If you are dear to each other, you need to cool down a little and talk. Perhaps a compromise will be found and the relationship will move to a new level;
before surgery. When the fears are terrible, but you can’t survive without surgery, all you have to do is look for good doctors and fight for your life;
because of the loan. There is nothing more important than health. Therefore, worries about the amount of debt will seem insignificant compared to the cost of human life;
because of the neighbor's music. Don't start beating the batteries immediately after the first notes behind the wall. Try to convey to your neighbors that loud music makes you uncomfortable. Perhaps they will immediately understand you and listen.

Many people don’t know how to stop being nervous at work and lead themselves to breakdowns or depression.

To avoid being branded as a brawler or brawler, you need to stop indulging in your bad habit of solving problems with your voice. Obviously, if you don’t start working on yourself, the team can turn away from the “nervous element of society.” Then there will simply be no one to solve problems, share news and communicate with.

In a new job, a person is given a chance to show his best qualities, taking into account life experience and knowledge. Therefore, you should not be afraid of a new job, put on the mask of “Dunno” or “Newbie”. To rid yourself of stress and worry, you need to boldly go through life.

Experienced students know how to stop being nervous before an exam - they need to write a couple of cheat sheets. Even if you don’t manage to use them in the exam, the main points will remain in your memory. Then, every student knows the rule that repetition is the mother of learning! The night before the exam, flip through the notes, and in the morning, feel free to defend your knowledge.

You should not worry and be nervous to the point of tears before an exam - have mercy on your heart.

If you have a driving test ahead of you, it is worth dividing the questions systematically, for each day. Systematicity, clarity and order will give you self-confidence, and this guarantees 80% of success.

A woman’s health during pregnancy is sometimes not good. But there is no need to worry about this, because toxicosis, changes in hemoglobin in the blood, heartburn, and malaise are quite common occurrences for a pregnant woman.

During pregnancy, a woman needs more positive emotions, a good friendly environment of loved ones, a reliable, experienced gynecologist, and also faith in herself.

No stress over grades!

Parents' anxiety about their children's grades is completely justified, because without knowledge and a good certificate it is so difficult to enter a good university. But is it possible to make a child smarter with your screams and nerves? If you constantly turn the evening hours into debriefings, your child will no longer have the desire to learn.

It will be much more useful to provide help while studying, explain a simple rule for the tenth time, and then go into the kitchen, close your eyes and mentally shower yourself with rose petals!

Kids spend most of their active childhood at school. And if for some, only math homework causes difficulties, then for others, school becomes synonymous with problems, bad mood and all kinds of suffering. The reason for a spoiled impression of the first education can be many things: poor relationships with classmates or teachers, poor academic performance... What to do if you understand that your child is faced with problems that make attending school a torture?

Problem: Your child worries too much about bad grades.

Your son or daughter comes home from school in tears, to the question “what happened?” does not answer, hides his eyes, refuses to show the diary... As a result, it turns out that this behavior is due to the fact that he got a D (or C) at school. And this happens every time the teacher gives a grade below an “A”.

What to do:
Almost certainly, such a deep upset of a child with a bad grade is closely related to the expectations that you yourself verbally or non-verbally convey. Some parents directly say, “You should only get straight A’s in your studies,” others hint, “I wish your diary was as beautiful as your friend Petya’s.” In both cases, the child feels obligated to study “excellently,” especially if such veiled or not-so-veiled phrases often pop up in your speech. But not everyone succeeds in being an excellent student and not always.

Therefore, the first thing you need to do to help your child worry less about bad grades is to stop focusing on them. Praise your child for his achievements - for example, for how beautiful his handwriting has become, how quickly he solved a math problem, with what expression he read a poem, and not for getting straight A's. You must convey that good grades are great, but the main thing is real knowledge, and even more important is interest in learning and the effort made. Only for this you need to believe in it yourself.

Problem: the child is being bullied by classmates

The sad reality is that almost every modern classroom has its own “outcast.” They offend him, they laugh at him, they don’t give him a pass, both literally and figuratively. Often the reason for the ridicule and ridicule of classmates is some “feature” of the child that distinguishes him from the rest. Being too tall, overweight, dressing differently, having a different eye shape or skin color, studying too well or too poorly, not eating meat - anything can be the cause of bullying.

What to do:
Don't interfere "directly". If you decide to “have the talk” with children who bully your son or daughter, you will only make the situation worse. Because you physically cannot be there all the time while your child is at school, and as soon as you leave, they will start teasing him also because “mommy stands up for him.”

Giving your child advice and lecturing on what he should do in such a situation is also not effective. Because we give advice from an “adult” position - if the child had our confidence, knowledge and strength, perhaps he would not have any problems.

In this situation, you can only do one thing - provide maximum support to the child. Listen to him when he wants to complain, tell him how much you love him. And try to find for him a society of people like him, where his peculiarity will be appreciated and not rejected. If a child talks too much and makes faces, send him to the theater; if he is too tall for his age, send him to the basketball section. Seeing that he is not the only one, the child will become less ashamed of his “peculiarity”, and quite likely, he will begin to be proud of it, and other people’s ridicule will no longer hurt him. And as soon as the gun fails to reach the target, it stops firing.

If the situation only worsens over time and reaches the point of assault, you may need to think about transferring your child to another school. An extra half hour of travel or a not so high rating in certain subjects is not as scary as a child’s destroyed psyche.

Problem: the child has no friends at school

Problems with relationships at school are not always related to the fact that someone is offending the child - sometimes they are simply ignored. If classmates do this on purpose, you should “fight” in the same ways as with active “assaults,” but more often than not, a child’s lack of friends at school is still associated with his natural modesty. This problem is often faced by children who have moved to a new school, where they have already formed their own groups and interest groups. And, if for an active and lively child joining a new environment is not a problem, then a shy one will stand on the sidelines, not daring to approach and talk to the new company.

What to do:
First, make sure that the desire to have friends belongs to your child, not you. Most children feel the need to belong to a group, but there are exceptions to every rule—your child may be one of them. If your little schoolchild really wants to make friends with someone, but cannot, help him - arrange some fun event to which you invite other children.
Outside of school, in a situation where they are interested and pleasant, children are usually more inclined to make contacts - and will not mind playing with your son or daughter.

If you don’t have time to organize picnics and hikes, try inviting the parents of one of your classmates to visit. After all, it doesn't hurt to make friends in the school environment either. Ask your new acquaintances to take their child to visit so that yours doesn’t get bored. And be sure to come up with some kind of bonding, exciting activity that the children can do together - assembling a new construction set, building a fort out of pillows, brushing the dog, anything that they can do together.

Problem: overloaded schedule, child gets tired and cannot cope with the load

Teachers complain that your child sleeps in class. At home, he refuses not only to help around the house, but also to play, because he is too tired and wants to rest. Or maybe he doesn’t have time to play at all, because after school he not only needs to do his homework, but also go to a horse riding lesson, and then work out with a Spanish teacher...

What to do:
Reduce your parental ambitions - almost always, when a child is on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to overwork, it turns out that, in addition to school, he attends several different clubs and sports sections. Taking care of the comprehensive development of a child is good and correct, but only as long as his physical and psychological health does not suffer.

Try giving up piano lessons, at least temporarily, and not taking your son or daughter to a private chess teacher three times a week. Observe your child: has he become more cheerful, cheerful, active? If not, he may need more time to recover. It would also be a good idea to check whether fatigue and nervous exhaustion are caused by a lack of vitamins in the body.

If, in addition to school, your child has no additional loads, and teachers still complain about his inattention, you may need to check your child for attention deficit disorder. With ADHD (as the syndrome is called for short), due to neurological characteristics, the child has difficulty concentrating on something and cannot maintain attention for a long time, which affects his performance at school. Children with this syndrome need special help in learning information.

Problem: the teacher does not like the child for some reason and lowers grades for no reason.

In an ideal world, teachers should be impartial, assess the true level of the child’s knowledge, without paying attention to their personal likes and dislikes. But in reality, unfortunately, quite the opposite often happens. And the teacher chooses his “favorites” and “whipping boys (girls).” Moreover, children who are famous for bad behavior or do not know the subject are not always among the “unfavourites”. It’s just that, for example, the teacher loves active children who always reach out and strive to answer any of her questions, and those who calmly sit back (perhaps because, due to their temperament, they do not strive to “get ahead”) by default puts them “a step lower.” "

What to do:
First, try to “scout the situation.” Talk to the parents of other children - how does this teacher treat them? Are they complaining about her? Perhaps something globally is going wrong for a particular teacher in his life, and he “takes it out” on the children. In this case, you should contact the director and solve the problem administratively - change the teacher for the whole class.

If your guess that the teacher does not like your child specifically is confirmed, try to talk openly with her. The main thing is not to start with threats or negativity. It will be much better for both you and your child if you manage to resolve the conflict peacefully. Ask what Vasya needs to do to improve his grades? Say that you feel that your son is not “suited” to her subject - what could she advise to improve the situation? Tell us about the characteristics of your child - maybe, having realized that he does not raise his hand not because he knows nothing, but because he is phlegmatic by temperament, she will begin to ask him more often herself - and make sure that he knows everything better than many.

If, despite all your conversations, the teacher will not leave your child alone, use this case as an example, telling your child that this happens in life - even if we try very hard and do everything well, others do not always appreciate it adequately . Praise your child and tell him that you are sure that he knows mathematics (literature, English) better than many, and if the grades do not reflect this knowledge, it is not his fault.

In general, when a child complains to you about something that is happening at school (and not only there), try to hear not only words, but also emotions. Listen to everything your baby has to say and voice the feelings you think he is experiencing. “I think you’re very upset,” and shut up. The child himself will let you know whether you “guessed” correctly or not, and most importantly, he will receive “permission” to express everything that has accumulated in his soul. Such deep emotional contact is the best thing you can give your child if there is a problem of any nature.

You can also remind him more often that he is wonderful and you love him, and school is just one stage of a long, long life. Former bullies and harmful teachers will remain a thing of the past, and he will definitely meet those who will appreciate all his wonderful qualities.

Photo - photobank Lori

As a rule, in school we take bad grades or unexpected troubles quite easily, but bad grades in college or university can affect our professional activities in the future. Perhaps you didn’t get the highest grade or completely failed your last test or test - don’t worry. Better pay attention to your spiritual state, come to terms with this incident, find harmony and get ready to move on. Zen is not just a teaching about tranquility. This teaching is more about gaining that sense of purpose and determination that will help improve your future. You need to understand why you get bad grades, what you can do to fix it, and how to behave to get good grades in the future.

Steps

Come to terms with your grades

Take responsibility for your grades. Even if it's a blow to your ego, you need to understand that you alone are responsible for the grades you receive. Of course, you may have conflicts with teachers, and other extraneous factors may also affect your grades, but in most cases you need to understand that if you want to improve something, you need to act.

Put this situation into perspective. Understand that, unfortunately, troubles happen in life. Bad grades can make you panic, but you need to look at the situation rationally to accept it. You are healthy? Do you have close people who love you, friends who are always there? Think about how lucky you are. Remember that grades are important, of course, but they are not the only important thing in your life.

Talk to someone you trust. When you're upset, it's okay to discuss the situation with a friend or loved one. Don't feel like you have to deal with this situation on your own. It's understandable that you're worried about upsetting your parents, ruining your grades, and ruining your teachers' impression of you. Remember that you can cope with this and find the support you need.

You could even try seeing a psychologist (schools, colleges and universities usually have psychologists on staff). They are good professionals who are trained to help upset and anxious students.
You should not visit forums and social networks to complain about your “troubles” there. After all, your comments can be seen by other students, institute employees and teachers. This could have consequences. Therefore, it is better to talk to a friend or psychologist face to face.

Take a break. You may be extremely tired, so now is not the time to forget about your well-being. Eat ice cream with a friend, watch a movie, or take a bubble bath. Do something that helps you relax. The point is not to “run away” from bad grades, but to find the harmony and calm that is necessary in order to correct this situation. Once you are rested and relaxed, return to your grades.

Remind yourself that grades do not define your self-worth or your worth. You are so much more than your grades. Good grades can help boost your self-esteem, but don't let bad grades diminish your worth. In addition, bad grades do not mean that you are stupid or unable to graduate from university. Everyone has their own talents, strengths and good qualities that cannot be measured by the curriculum alone.

Meditate. When you can retreat to your room, try closing your eyes for a few minutes. Take a few deep breaths in and out and concentrate on your breathing. Quiet your thoughts and allow yourself to move away from them. Try not to think about anything, and if you start to have anxious thoughts about your grades, try to push them away. You can turn on pleasant, calm music - it will help you relax. Try to spend 15–30 minutes meditating.
- If it’s difficult for you to devote a lot of time to meditation, try downloading a special meditation application (for example, “PureMind: Meditation and Sounds” or “Headspace” (the application is in English, but 95% of the words are repeated from exercise to exercise, so even with poor knowledge of the language it’s worth try to use it)). These apps offer specific tips and guides to help you stay focused.
- Yoga is another way to relax and achieve harmony. Some educational institutions (colleges and universities) have sports clubs, including a yoga club. Find out if there is such a club at your educational institution, and whether you can enroll in it.
If you have panic attacks, try one of the relaxation techniques. Sometimes we feel anxious or panicky, but we don't have enough time to meditate. In this case, you can try using a quick relaxation technique that will help you come to your senses a little. So, leave everything you are doing. Close your eyes and count to 10. Imagine a calm place where you are happy, such as near the ocean or a babbling stream. These techniques will help you relax and get rid of the worries that are overwhelming you.

Avoid drugs and alcohol. Some people worry so much about their grades that they indulge even more in fun and partying to forget about this problem - this is how a vicious circle begins. If you are very worried about bad grades, try not to drink alcohol until you feel relaxed and calm.

Think about what went wrong

Calculate how much time you spend studying. Before you panic, try to guess why you started getting bad grades. Are you studying to your full potential? Are you playing truant and missing tests? Think about your study habits - this will help you understand what needs to be worked on.

Perhaps you are completely dedicated to your studies. Studying as hard as you can and getting bad grades is really very disappointing. But you must remember that you did everything possible to succeed. Perhaps next time you should change your study habits or ask your teacher for help.
Perhaps you just gave up right away and didn’t try everything. What you need to understand is that the days of relying on your talent and luck alone are over. Learn from this and try to be better prepared next time.

Think about what materials you are preparing with. Take another look at your notes, notes, and exercises. What part (or what tasks) did you not understand? What does the curriculum say about these tests? Consider whether you may not have understood something you were supposed to learn (or learn to do).
- You may have only learned what interests you. If some points seemed too difficult or uninteresting to you, most likely you returned to the more interesting parts of the material or task, and simply ignored the difficult or boring parts of the task. Next time, try to fight this urge.
- You may have only read the minimum required for the lesson. In this case, try reading additional material in addition to the main homework. If you don't understand the material, go to the library, ask your teacher for help, or find an explanation on the Internet.
Pay attention to your attendance. Some teachers will deduct points if a student misses too many classes. Sometimes, when you skip class, you miss key information. Think about the level of attendance. Add to this the number of missed classes.
- Do you have a valid reason for being absent from class? Do you have a medical certificate confirming that you were sick? If someone died, do you have a copy of the death certificate? If the answer to these questions is no, it is likely that your absences were not considered excused absences.
Take into account other factors that could influence this. If you are not feeling well and cannot afford even some basic things, you will most likely have a hard time studying. If this is the case, talk to your doctor or psychologist to see what you can do to resolve the situation (you may need to take some time off to understand your condition). If it's not the end of the semester, it might be a good idea to skip a couple of classes to handle the situation. So, the main external factors are listed below:
- death of a loved one;
- work (full or part time);
- raising young children;
- mental health problems.
- Please note that you are unlikely to be able to re-take a course in a particular subject. This is only possible if you re-enroll in the same course (that is, you will have to study again for a whole year what you have already studied). However, you can talk to the teacher. Surely he teaches students of other specialties in the same program (especially if it is a general discipline). If you can find time to study in the subject in which you are behind, and the teacher agrees to it, then you have a chance to improve your grades.
Think about how much you communicate. When you are completely absorbed by some life events, you do not have time to cope with the rest of your affairs. Perhaps you have a new friend or a new girlfriend who is taking up all your time. Maybe you have joined some kind of community or club of interests that often hosts parties. Social life is very important, but if you spend too much time partying and don't have enough time to study, you can ruin your grades.

Meet with your teachers. Being attentive and responsible can help you even when studying in college or university. Teachers will understand that you are having some difficulties right now, and they will appreciate your desire to learn. Talking with teachers will help you learn the lesson better, understand the material, and improve your work in the future.
- Talk to teachers during their office hours or email to arrange an in-person meeting. It is always better to discuss such matters in person.
- Although it may be difficult, you can approach this topic calmly and sincerely. Simply say, "I'm really disappointed in my knowledge on the last assignments. I'm wondering how I could improve my performance. Can you give me some advice on how I can better approach this assignment?"
- If you wait until the end of the semester to have this conversation, it may be too late to change anything.

Consider a new approach to studying

Assess the overall impact of poor grades on your future. To avoid worrying about your grades, think about how much they will affect your future studies and career. Most often, bad grades do not greatly affect our overall education. If you receive a failing grade in one or more classes, your performance may decline. But don't get discouraged—take a few deep breaths and look at the big picture. Make a concrete plan to improve.

Decide in which areas you want to develop. You may have realized that the problem is in your approach to studying. Maybe you realized that you don’t know how to organize material, that you forget about deadlines. Once you have determined what the main problem is, you need to take steps to fix it. Make a decision to change something.
- If you are very forgetful, you can buy a calendar or organizer, mark important dates and set reminders on your phone.
- If you have problems with the distribution and organization of your time, you can make a schedule in advance and, having completed the planned tasks, reward yourself with something pleasant.
Set yourself new goals. Think about what you ultimately want to achieve? What kind of career do you want to build? Do you want to earn a certain amount? Do you want to enroll in a master's program? Make a list of goals. Once you have decided on your goals, list the necessary steps to achieve those goals.
- For example, if you want to study medicine in the future, look at the list of subjects you will study, decide what your grade level should be at graduation, and how various extracurricular activities can contribute to achieving your goal. So, your list of practical steps might be: “Find admissions information” or “Find good medical universities.”
Think about what you could improve. It is very important to understand that you cannot change the past, but you can change the future. Convince yourself that you can solve your problems. Once you realize what you did wrong, you can take steps to improve your situation.

Move on

Sign up for a consultation with a teacher. If you are concerned that your grades will affect your future studies, talk to your academic advisor and come up with a plan of action. Perhaps the subject is difficult for you, and you should contact a tutor or ask the teacher to work with you additionally. Unfortunately, in Russia and other CIS countries there is no opportunity to freely choose subjects. Work with your teacher (and perhaps your parents or guardians) to create a plan of action to help you get back on track.

Make a plan on how you can improve your results. This plan should be formulated as specifically and step by step as possible, it should help you succeed next time. Feeling like you're in control of the situation will help you relax and set yourself goals to focus on next time.

This plan must include the number of hours per week that you will spend on studying, the grades that you want to receive in each of the subjects. Describe how you are going to cope with various medical problems, how many hours a week you will spend working, socializing, and so on.

Study your schedule. If you had really tough classes last semester, you may already have an answer to why your grades have dropped so much. Even the smartest and most capable people need to take breaks from time to time. It is possible that the schedule is not balanced in the current semester, in which case you as a whole group need to contact the dean’s office with a request to distribute the subjects differently. But, most likely, a visit to the dean will be successful only if the semester has just begun.

If possible, politely ask your teacher if you can view your test (to make sure you were graded correctly). In some cases (but quite rarely) teachers make mistakes when checking work.
If things aren't going well from the start of the semester, consider skipping one or more classes to lighten the load and get the situation under control.
Understand that dropping out is the last option and has many consequences. The best option is to try to put in more effort and persistence to succeed. By skipping classes and dropping out of school, you develop escapism (the desire to escape from difficult situations) rather than grit and perseverance.

Warnings

Never harm yourself or anyone else in response to poor grades. Remember, this too shall pass.
If you don't sleep enough or eat poorly (or both), remember that this will affect you in unpleasant ways. But with time. Seek help from a social worker if it is a financial issue.
If you suffer from mental health problems or any physical limitations that affect your learning process, don't hide in a corner and suffer in silence. Many colleges and universities are modernizing their curricula and creating special accommodations for people with disabilities. Certain adjustments are made to the course structure and schedule to help the student complete the course successfully. Trying to succeed against all odds is admirable, but it may set you up for failure in the long run, so try to figure out what kind of learning environment will help you cope.
Break bad habits (such as over-communication and under-learning) because these habits cause your mistakes and failures. Instead of following the all-or-nothing approach and giving up when things don't go well, try to achieve your goals gradually.

What you will need

Planner or organizer
Meetings with teachers, psychologist (to assess progress)
Open access to notebooks, textbooks, online materials, etc. (if you do not have access to study materials, ask your teacher to provide you with everything you need)
Find a regular notebook or ring pad to take notes in. Find a small notebook if you can write down material using abbreviations and acronyms

A small child perceives “5” or “4” not just as a mark, but as an assessment of his personality - whether I am good or bad. It is not without reason that in some pedagogical systems they abandon grades altogether, so as not to create unnecessary reasons for... How adequately a child can perceive assessments depends, for the most part, on the family. After all, sometimes parents forget that not only the result is important, but also participation, and studying is a process of obtaining not so much grades as knowledge.

In addition, grades are always subjective: the result may be affected by the teacher’s anxiety or attitude. But often the child’s perception of grades is influenced by the parents’ attitude towards them, and the latter, in turn, can be divided into several types.

Anxious parents. Most often, anxious parents worry about grades: for them, it is an indicator of their child’s success, and, therefore, it is their assessment as an effective or ineffective parent: in other words, how their contribution to the child was assessed by society. “For such mothers and fathers, a bad grade is catastrophic - if he has a “2”, it means that I am a bad parent,” explains Anna Fateeva, a child psychologist at the Crisis Center for Assistance to Women and Children.

Authoritarian parents. The situation with grades is no less difficult for children of demanding, controlling, critical parents. Often such people are forced to rewrite the assignment until it is perfect; they meet a grade of four, and even more so a grade of three in the diary, with stern silence, lectures, or punishments. The child begins to fear evaluations, especially if he has already encountered punishment - physical or emotional.

Narcissistic parents. It also happens that it is important for parents to present the child’s results to the public: to be proud, to brag, to brag, and then the parents - obviously or not - convey to the child: “If you are not successful, you do not live up to our expectations, we don’t need you like that.” Here we are dealing with a situation of rejection, which, accordingly, will lead to excessive and panic before showing the diary to the parents.

Compassionate parents. Some overprotective mothers are inclined and ready to alleviate his suffering at any moment. With them, children quickly understand: if you cry after you get a bad grade, not only will they not scold you, but they will even pat you on the head, feel sorry for you and buy you a chocolate bar. Now the baby uses this method every time just to be on the safe side.

The source of the problem may not only be the family, but also the school environment: an overly strict teacher or a competitive classroom environment can also provoke an exaggerated reaction to grades. In this case, the child begins to fear that his classmates will not accept him because of his poor performance.
Daria Dmitrieva
psychologist at the Crisis Center for Women and Children

What to do if your child worries too much about grades?

When a child is just starting out, his fear of grades is almost certainly due to the fact that he does not know what reaction to expect from his parents, and therefore experiences anxiety. If this is no longer a small child and the negative reaction to assessments has become systematic, then the situation requires attention.

“Try to understand why the child is so worried about grades,” advises psychologist Daria Dmitrieva. – Afraid that mom will swear? He ashamed? Does he think he's stupid? Did the guys laugh at him? Did the teacher insult him? In each individual case, the approach to the problem will be different.”

However, we can try to give some general recommendations.

1. From the first grade, teach your child to have the right attitude towards learning.“I’m pleased when you get an A, but other grades aren’t the end of the world.” You shouldn’t say: “Oh, you got a B? Are you stupid? Here I am at your age...” The child should be told that “4” does not convey anything bad about his personality, character, etc. This is just one of the tools for measuring knowledge.

2. Explain to your child that he has the right to make mistakes. Perhaps the child is embarrassed to say that he did not understand the topic, or cannot, or it is due to absences due to illness. It is important to support kids so that they are not afraid to say: “I don’t understand, please explain.”

3. Don't compare your child with other children who do better. This is at least unconstructive. If you want, compare today’s results with your child’s successes yesterday: “Look, you’ve learned to write this word without mistakes,” “Look, you’re already writing essays better.”